I posted this on adhd Reddit but also wanted more input here.
Basically my LDR bf(we’re both 22) of two years with ADHD hasn’t talked to me in two weeks. It started out as two days and I got worried and told him to let me know he’s ok. Then on, it’s been two weeks now and I’ve sent over 30+ texts and 10+ missed calls.
A bit about him, he’s caring, if I have a problem, he’d drop it and do anything for me. He’s sweet, talkative. He has adhd, depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation. He doesn’t like being a burden to me although he never is. I also don’t think he can understand how I feel sometimes. I’m trying so hard to have patience but this is killing me. It’s like he doesn’t understand I’m his partner and I’m there for him.
I think he’s so overwhelmed by the texts/calls I’ve sent that he doesn’t want the confrontation but how long is that gonna go on for? I’ve tried absolutely everything. I thought he might need some time to himself because something is going on but don’t I have the right to know? My friend who knows nothing about adhd or him thinks I’m crazy to still be with him. Maybe I am, that’s why I’m here now. He’s always been sweet, I just don’t understand why he’d do this. I love him.
Advice?
2 comments
I think you should try to figure out what’s going on with him in real life. Do you know anyone he sees frequently?
I have ADHD but I think there are too many possibilities for me to give advice. And I don’t have the ghosting problem as much myself so..
Wish you and your BF best of luck OP
It’s great that you’re trying to be understanding of his circumstances but I share your friend’s opinion. This isn’t sustainable behavior in a relationship. If he was in a depression slump and felt too guilty and ashamed to reach out, then where exactly does that leave you? This is an explanation of his behavior not an excuse.
Communication is key in relationships and he has to work on this it this is going to work. Leaving you worried about his safety for 2 weeks or more isn’t something you should have to deal with on the regular. If he’s doing nothing to address his mental health, this isn’t sustainable