Earlier this month I started to get realllllly close with this boy. He used to like me back in 8th grade but never said anything because he was shy. In high school I ended up being apart of the popular kids so he said “ screw that” and avoided me. At the end of high school, I ran into him as I was going in to pick up prom pictures. “Congrats on winning the state title!” he said, referring to our softball team. I saw him and was in awe.
My friend was there for that encounter, and I didn’t hesitate to share my feelings about him with her. “I’m gonna text him on snapchat” I told her, to which she encouraged me to. I should also mention that there was a point in time where he and my friend had been meeting under the stairs to kiss. It was nothing serious to him, I don’t know about her, but it was more so just him wanting experience and her offering to give him that. She has her own little flings with several guys right now and barely talks about him, so whether or not she was still interested in him wasn’t something I considered.
But as soon as the boy and I started texting all day and flirting with one another, my friend began saying unnecessary things about him. “He doesn’t know how to kiss,” she said, and “he’s weird and innocent.” I didn’t listen to her because I want my own opinion of him, & even if those things were true, I was okay with that.
But after that, she just became unbearable. She intentionally hurt me while we were at the gym, she has always been a loud/obnoxious person but her filter thinned more and more. She knows my parents are religious and would still get in the car swearing and saying all types of crazy stuff in front of them. She caught wind of this boy coming to my house a little while later, prompting her to flip and text him, heavily questioning him, airing all out my business, and trying to make me look bad. She then called me “easy” for inviting him over so quick even though we legitimately just sat and talked about life for 2 hours.
I haven’t said anything to her yet. She doesn’t know that I know all of what she said to the boy I’m involved with. He showed me messages while at my house, and then showed other things that I wasn’t aware of. Turns out she likes him and is mad that he had been holding off on a relationship with her (she didn’t say the mad part, that’s what it seemed from texts however).
I will never fight with my friends over a man, but at the same time, this whole ordeal has me wondering if this girl is even somebody I should call a friend quite frankly. Im just really confused and haven’t said a word to her yet. I’m not sure if it’s even worth it?
29 comments
Personally I wouldn’t call her a friend. Because who just flips over someone for liking a person they could’ve had a long time ago and tells them they’re entire business?! That’s shady and backstabbing.
She’s not your friend any more. A friend wouldn’t sneak behind your back and badmouth you to your bf to split you up.
Her jealousy has taken over her good side.
It’s great that he showed you what she had said to him. Shows he likes you.
Tell him you’re going to drop the friendship and that if he wants to block her he can. You should block her too.
From what I read she is the type of person that wants you to be happy but not happier than she is. This is why she told you to text him but when she saw that things were getting more serious between you and the boy she changed her mind. Someone who goes behind your back to talk shit about you is not your friend.
No one who is a friend would do that to you.
>She intentionally hurt me while we were at the gym
Like she physically injured you? Nah, this friendship is done.
That’s not your friend.
She’s not your friend. Confront her and move on.
>I will never fight with my friends over a man
You’re right. You’ll never fight with friends over a man. She’s definitely not your friend
You don’t need to worry about fighting with a friend now. She isn’t your friend, she is actively trying to sabotage you and doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Dump her and I guarantee life will get much easier.
I mean, she definitely is toxic in her reactions…
but if you ever hook up with or start dating a guy a friend likes or is hooking up with, you are choosing that guy over your friendship and you should expect that the friend will no longer like you. Like, you can’t start dating a guy your friend is getting with an expect her not to care at all unless you explicitly asked…
>I will never fight with my friends over a man,
Well, this one is easy, then, because this girl isn’t your friend.
A friend would have been honest with you about liking the guy and not trying to destroy your image. That’s all she had to do, it could be so simple. I think it’s time to part ways with her kiddo. You’ll find a new friend.
She isn’t your friend though. Friends don’t behave the way your “friend” is. She is toxic and if you keep people like that in your life, you’ll be dealing with a lot of BS.
Regardless what happens with the boy, drop the “friend”.
Friends don’t pull this kind of shit. Tell her to fuck off with all her high school nonsense.
She’s jealous. And not your friend
she’s not your friend
*this whole ordeal has me wondering if this girl is even somebody I should call a friend quite frankly.*
Ding ding ding!
She’s not your friend.
This girl is not your friend. She’s a backstabbing, conniving snake.
You’re not the one ruining a friendship because of a boy. She is.
So your friend was already hooking up with him? And you still wanted him. Meh- who cares 🤷🏻♂️ seriously, you’re young- do whatever you feel is what you want. This isn’t going to be some life long romance and neither is her friendship. Have fun – be safe
She’s not your friend. She toxic and this is just a situation that let you see her true colors. Is drop her as a friend her toxic behavior will escalate wether you keep her around or not so prepare yourself. Good luck with the the guy I hope he’s a good one.
I say lose her and keep him.
You really need to immediately tell the boy how you feel about him and everything she is doing to you to sabotage your relationship with him. That alone will help a lot.
she’s no friend. dump her
Friends don’t do that to eachother.
That girl is no longer your friend. Confront her
Not your friend
this so juicy
If you both make each other happy and are keen to continue seeing where this goes then keep doing that. This girl is not a friend to you, she’s not a friend to him. She is a toxic individual who you need to go NC with. That ‘friendship’ will never be healed.
As everyone else is saying, this is not how an actual friend behaves. I’m curious what you’re unsure or confused about. Is it that you don’t know whether it’s worth it to confront her? I personally wouldn’t, just cut her out of your life.