Hi, i’m 16, my gf is 16 too, so still pretty young which works to some excuse. As the title suggests, I have a very low success rate of this happening. I’ve tried oral, fingering and all that, sometimes 30/40 mins or more, no luck. We’ve fucked countless times, lasted a whole hour today, still nothing and it’s driving me up the wall, i’ve asked her how to do everything and try it and she says it’s right (evidently it obviously isn’t), her excuse is that she just takes long, but i very much believe that isn’t the case. What do i do?!?!?
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In my (limited) experience with women, the equation for an orgasm consists of three parts. Stimulation, technique, and engagement. You can have all the stimulation and technique in the world, but if she’s not on board it’s never gonna happen. Same thing about technique and stimulation. She’s never going to orgasm if you aren’t pushing the right buttons or hitting the right spot(s).
Keep practicing (if she’s willing). Work on the mental side of sex. Make her feel comfortable and loved. LISTEN to her (don’t just listen for vocal queues – listen to her body) and adjust what you are doing to build on what her body tells you is the right place to go. Sooner or later whatever wall that is holding her back from multiple and frequent orgasms is going to break and you two will have a blast.
I know this isn’t at all the answer you’re looking for, but hear me out. obsessing ab orgasm the way you’re doing is a surefire way to not only prevent orgasm but also suck all the fun out of intimacy – And make her want to start faking orgasms to make you feel better, which we obviously don’t want at all. So first and foremost, let’s remember that orgasm isn’t “owed” to us. it’s not a given or an essential part of good sex, no matter how old we are.
So instead of worrying about getting her to finish try and focus on the intimacy of it, savoring the experience, communicating needs, making her feel comfortable and relaxed. It’s totally natural to want to make it a good experience for her – but perfectionism is often the enemy of good. Real life sex (esp at 16) is not gonna be totally “seamless” like porn.
i’m a few years older than you (almost 20) and in my last relationship, my ex was always down to use an hour (or two or three) on foreplay – If anything the foreplay was just the main event. Knowing climax wasn’t expected of me – and that intimacy + the eroticism of it all was of far greater importance than climax – helped me relax and feel like i didn’t owe him orgasms to save his ego. Because once she feels like her body is “wrong” or “betraying her” cos she isn’t orgasming, she won’t ever feel present enough to reach that point while having sex with u.
So just take your time getting to know each other’s bodies and enjoy the moment, lol. DEEP BREATHS, you’re doing great.
Everyone orgasms at different rates, what works for one woman may not work for another. That being said, ask if she masturbates (if you both are comfortable with such a conversation). If she comes when she masturbates, ask what helps. Also, orgasm is not just about vaginal stimulation – some women don’t come just from being fucked for long. The obvious additional thing is clitoral stimulation, which may help, but also other things that are specific to her. Experiment outside the vagina area and in combination with the vagina area to find out what she likes – for some girls it’s the neck, for some it’s the breasts, for some it’s anal, and it could be anything as innocuous as the method of kissing. Take time, don’t rush, and never stress – if she feels conscious about the time it’s taking her to orgasm, it’s going to take even longer.
Let her be on top and in control of everything. She probably can’t relax enough.
Try searching Kenneth Play on Pornhub and watch some instructional videos…