I’ve know this girl for awhile, she is so damn awesome. Chill, funny, smart we can talk for hours and hours she is interested in dating, but for the life of me I don’t find her attractive.
Before you think I’m some shallow douche, all the girls I’ve dated, looks was in 4th place for me. Personality, vibe, connection then looks it really isn’t super important obviously I want to think their cute but connection and personality is vastly more important.
I want so badly to be attracted to her. So has anyone gone thru something like this? If so what did do about it?
8 comments
You become best friends with her.
Why put yourself into having a relationship with her when you can just be really good friends?
All the time in high school. I have/had a very specific type, and just was not attracted to certain people, no matter how awesome they were or how sweet they were to me. You gotta feel that spark! And you don’t. That’s okay, you have yourself an amazing friend. That can be good enough!
I should note though, when I did decline to date them things old get weird, because they were hoping for a different outcome. So you may be in for a bit of a parting of ways while she moves one, but you can be friends after! Justly need to give her some space first.
Just try to be friends first. If it’s meant to be then those feelings will develop organically.
Is she putting out the “yes!” Vibes or the “friend” vibes?
Yeah, I had a very brief fling with a person like this. Absolutely awesome, our senses of humors meshed, I loved so many of his qualities. But the attraction wasn’t there. I broke it off very quickly. For me, attraction isn’t about looks per se, but about…something ineffable. You and she are friends. Don’t waste her time.
I dated a girl for 9months thinking the attraction would build as I got closer too her. It did not, it was selfish of me and ultimately ended up hurting her and preventing me from finding someone that did actually excite me. If you value her friendship I’d advise not to start dating
OP has just discovered you can be friends with the opposite sex. I feel like we’ve been part of a major event in his life.