So there is a girl at college that I want to start a conversation with but I keep failing to initiate it. I’m a big Marvel fan and so is she. She occasionally wears Marvel shirts and has a Spider-Man eraser. I commute to my college two days a week and we are in the same room for a certain period of time on one of those days. I was thinking of complimenting her Marvel merch and then a conversation could start from there. The conversation may or may not lead to something romantic. While I would love if it became a relationship, I’m nervous to start the conversation because I have never been in a relationship so the possibility of being in one is all new to me. I also worry because she is always sitting at a table with at least one person so I don’t know if that would be awkward or not. Any advice?
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Become friends with her friends. Don’t go directly for her: And build rapport with her friends. You don’t have to compliment her on her clothes specifically, but when you’re around her just ask her class related questions and don’t be afraid to joke around. You got to break away from the idea of being with her, but that you just want to get to know her better
Try talking to women. Any women.
I’m 45. I’ve learned a bit about communication and confidence. Take it or leave it- the more challenging a situation the more satisfaction you can learn to derive from it.
The more people at the table- the better. Each time you do something like this is a chance to show your abilities. But, if it’s only one or two people at the table? So be it- go for it. Don’t worry about failure- strive for success.
Go sit at her table. Strike up your convo- but don’t look at her like a potential mate- this is a fellow human with similar interests. As the convo goes on you’ll find a groove- slide into it and be yourself.
Want to be a good conversationalist? Latch onto things she says and ask for elaboration. If she loves something or prefers something or holds an opinion, ask questions to get to the why. If there is something you don’t completely understand, it’s ok to hold up a hand to stop her and ask her to explain before continuing. You will never, and I mean never run out of things to talk about with this method unless she shuts you down because she isn’t interested. And if she isn’t interested? So what? There are endless girls out there.
You won’t always be truly interested. But act interested. If you find her be boring – that’s ok- she isn’t for you. Talking is the easiest and most important thing in relationships- but nobody seems to know how to do it anymore.
Talk and listen – ask questions. You may be the first person she’s ever really talked to.
Go for it.
You literally have a great in with her already “hey did you like the latest so and so movie”…she’ll literally start telling you why or why not she did/didn’t like the movie and then you can talk about your feelings on the marvel movie etc. it’s such an easy in, you have to go for it. Then after banter about the marvel stuff you can say something like “hey I was gonna go check out so and so movie tmrw, would you want to go?” It’s a great Segway into hanging with her too outside of the uni setting