I suck. I’m the worst. 32f. Anxiety and depression. I WANT good, close friends SO badly. I want these strong connections. I want people I can just talk to without effort.
I’ve always been bad at texting but I thought it was just a weird quirk. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that I don’t text because of fear. Fear of being a burden, saying the wrong thing, not getting a response, of not being good enough.
Now, the people who would be considered my friends NEVER make me feel less than. It’s a totally internal struggle. Grew up with not enough and treated like a burden by my parents. Only person who truly made me feel loved was my grandma. It’s a me thing. And I know it. I just wish I knew how to make it better. How to let go of the hurt and just be okay.
4 comments
*sending hugs virtually*
What are your hobbies? Do you enjoy talking with your coworkers?
I understand how you feel I have a similar problem where I find it very hard to talk about myself in anyway to my friends or family. I know it can be hard to speak to someone because you feel that you’re using them for advice. Or maybe not contributing to the friendship, but I promise you if they’re really your friend or family they will reassure and they would be very happy to help you and talk to you. It can be really scary when someone doesn’t respond and it can make you feel worse but don’t feel discouraged and start thinking there is something wrong. You’re not a burden and you are good enough, your friends and family will see that. If it’s hard for you to initiate that type of conversation then maybe start with a question that’s on your mind or a simple can we talk. The thoughts of “why would they want to know this” or “I shouldn’t bother them” are just paranoia, they won’t feel that way about you, they will want to help.
35M here having the same issue and without friends. At least u have some friends though! Hopefully they would become close friends at some point. Wish u all the best!
Because fuck other people