Me and my boyfriend have been going on for a while. 1 year of off and on. We’ve had fights but our communication at the end of the day is good. We are dating at the moment.The problem is that hes moving away after this summer. Hes moving countries and none of us have money to pay for trips/visits. So after plenty of long talks we’ve decided to break things off when summer ends. It does pain me. But should i let him take my virginity or will it hurt even more emotionally?
I’ve heard that sex isn’t that big of a deal. But should I do it even tho he’s moving? I feel ready, comfortable and we have been open about what we (think) we like and dislike. But I’m absolutely crushed he’s moving. I don’t want to be a one time thing for him. Will i regret it? Am i overthinking it? Is it worth it? I’m scared of being used.
6 comments
You lose it when YOU are ready to lose it. That is the only timetable you should follow regarding this.
Do it if you’re ready and you want to. I don’t really like how you said “Let him take it” when it’s more about you two sharing the experience. It makes it come off like you’re rewarding him with sex or giving him sex, when it should be both equally giving and receiving.
With that being said, you won’t feel like you were used if you do it knowing the consequences. Don’t expect to have sex with him and all of a sudden it changes everything. When I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, not much changed between us. It wasn’t as big of a deal as I made it.
Do it if you want to do it, but either way, you know how it’ll effect you more than we do. If he does decide to date someone closer to him after you have sex, would you feel used? Consider that possibility. If you would feel used, don’t do it.
When you meet someone your trust and physically want to be with. It should be special and not just eh I’m bored wanna fuck. At least that’s how I felt anyway my first time
There is only one first time. So it’s important that it’s with someone you actually love and who loves you. Look at it this way, you can’t regret what you didn’t do. If the relationship is only going to last 2 months i wouldn’t do it. A year on and off doesn’t count as a healthy relationship or as time spent dating
If you’re prepared to potentially be more vulnerable and emotionally invested after bringing sexual intimacy into the dynamic and you’re also able to maintain realistic expectations about the fact that you plan on breaking up when he moves countries, and you still want to do it, then do it.
The fact that you haven’t wanted to have sex or felt ready when in the year you’ve been together, yet suddenly feel ready when he’s inevitably leaving for good doesn’t feel completely honest to me. Just trying to look out for your best interest and true needs here. You’ll know your ready when it won’t feel like “losing” something, but rather desiring to freely and mutually give and receive with someone you want to share that connection with.
I’m gonna say based on what you’ve said that you shouldn’t. As for sex not being that big of a deal, that’s not true about your first. Even your first with a new partner, it can be a big deal. I think because he’s moving and you’re breaking things off this isn’t the right time. I think the first time, the person should be around for the second and third time.
Now if you think it’s the right time and the right guy then go for it. If you are wanting to do it cuse he wants you to, than you shouldn’t.