I feel so terrible for posting, even for thinking this. But I’ve been thinking this for months now and the feelings only gotten stronger. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now, and he is genuinly the best person I know. I’ve never met someone so thoughtful and genuine when it comes to other people, and I really look up to him.
We’ve lived together for two years now, had our ups and downs, but always gotten through them. This last year has been hard though. He’s gotten into university, I work a full time job, which means neither of us now have a lot of time to clean, do laundry or just clean up those messes that turn up naturally. Bf has never had the eye for that, and honestly isnt the type to think anything has a “place”. Last year I had a part time job and he was between jobs so it was way easier for me to either just clean myself, or just tell him to do it. He’s the type who if someone tells him to do the dishes, or pick up his shit, he’ll just do it. He just doesnt see it naturally, so it’s not weaponized incompetence or anything like that. But lately, its been a lot. Ive had to remind him multieple times to do his part of the weekly cleaning with him forgetting each time. My point with this, is I’ve begun to feel more like a mom than a girlfriend. And we’ve talked about it!! And he is making an effort, I know, but the feeling of me having to make sure he cleans and picks up dirty underwear has made a lot of the romance disappear for me.
I care for him with all of my heart, and I cant imagine a life without him. But lately Ive started to think if I would be happier single. Theres a part of me that feels like Im missing out, especially when our relationship has turned into this.
As I’ve mentioned, I have told him about the cleaning issues, but not how much theyve affected me. He loves me so much, but I honestly feel like a phony when I say it back. I dont know what to do. I dont want to break up with him, I want to get my feelings back, Id like the spark back. Do I talk to him about it? Is there anything I can do?
TL;DR: Im beginning to lose romantic feelings for my boyfriend and I want them back.
2 comments
I had a similar issue with an ex. You should definitely tell your bf exactly how you feel. I did with my ex and he understood and promised to change but he didn’t know how to. Long story short, my ex not being able to change was one of the factors that lead to our break up. I can totally understand where you’re coming from when you say you don’t want to have sex. When things aren’t right most women become turned off sexually. Definitely voice how you feel, who knows he might be willing to change for you.
It’s hard to act as a mother to someone and still fancy them. If you seriously want to change things he needs to know how much his behaviour is impacting on the relationship.