Okay, so this is just me voicing thoughts down on paper. Not really paper but you get it :P.
All my life, I’ve always noticed couples walking down the aisles of Wal-Mart, the park, movies, downtown. Etc. etc. I want in on it. I wanna be a part of the movement!
I’ve tried dating apps. Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, eharmony, match, OkC. I haven’t really had luck. I’m guessing I’m failing rule 1. My family tries to cheer me up about my appearance but I have body dysmorphia for sure. I was 350lbs in high school. Even in the army at 160 I felt 350lbs. Sometimes I think about a gastric sleeve to help with the dating issue.
Real life isn’t much better. I’ve gone to bars and out but don’t really approach. I have a second job as a server but I honestly can’t tell if someone is interested in me. I just assume people aren’t I guess.
I’d love to one day have a wife and family. A house on the lake. I could use some advise how to get there. How did you meet your SO? How to tell if someone is into you? Any advice really. Sorry if this isn’t the most clear. It’s 9:24 and I’ve worked two jobs today 🙂
This is me recently before a server position:
[me](https://i.imgur.com/dqPPcs7.jpg)
Constructive criticism and friendly advice welcome. Negative comments not welcome. 😛
22 comments
My partner and i were friends for a year before we started dating. Id recommend trying to make friends who share in your interests and see what develops from there.
I think you’re pretty attractive, so I wouldn’t see that as an issue. Dating in general these days is a shit show. You have to go through a lot of frogs to find the one, or someone compatible! Take your time, be authentic, stick to what you want, and explore your hobbies more. You’ll meet someone soon, good luck!!!
You’re not a bad looking dude at all; just based off of your one pic I would suggest a wardrobe upgrade? If this is one of the photos you used on the apps, change it cus selfies are not recommended. I’ve only been using apps, but i guess when you’re out and about just a friendly smile at someone you’re interested and if they smile back and look at you longer than normal it could be a sign of interest.
Agree with everyone else! You don’t look bad at all. I suggest just smiling for your picture and a wardrobe change as well. Doesn’t even have to be an expensive one. Just good will even!
You aren’t hopeless. You just need some help. Start off by getting that toothpaste tube under control 😜
Super easy this is the cheat code right here. Your hairstyle is ok na fuck that shit grow your beard out kratos Style shave your head bald. And get fucking JACKED, you look like you’re in your 30s, the brolic kratos look is yours. Put in a year of gym gains and then another you’re gonna be looking splendid. You look soft tbh not masculine at all. Losing body fat and gaining muscle Will help you out getting that big beard and shaving your head. You already at the tats take my advice you have lots of potential
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Grow the beard…. Trust me
You look good. I am in the same situation been on tinder a little over a year and I never even get messages anymore. So am just bummed and planning on deleting it.
All the single people are hermits so all you see is couples lol and your looking for them it makes you feel bad for being single, STOP LOOKING at couples and ignore women, if you bump into someone make friends get out and have fun enjoy life.
You type like a gimp 🤝 sorry my bro
I met my husband through a mutual friend. We all camped together at a music festival and over the few days we were there I started to like him romantically. I think cause we were all there as a group of friends, there was no pressure like there can be on apps or dates. I wasn’t scrutinizing him, nor him me, we were just all hanging out getting to know each other and enjoying a shared interest of music.
In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t have swiped right on him in an app. He showed me his tinder profile when we discussed deleting the apps and his profile wasn’t good. But watching him and being with him over that weekend he was really handsome in person, so kind and fun. Always first on the dance floor.
I guess, I would say try and expand your social circle, try a new hobby that is semi sociable. Also, I think as a society we need to stop saying men and women can’t be friends. I wouldn’t have met my husband if our mutual female friend hadn’t introduced us. If men and women had more genuine friends of the opposite sex, they would meet more of their friends and expand their potential dating pool.
I would definitely recommend a wardrobe change. Look more confident when taking pictures as well. There’s nothing wrong with taking a selfie! As long as it shows confidence.
Ur so handsome 😍
It doesn’t seem like it now but you will find your SO. Soon most likely. And it will probably happen when you stop tryin and when you least expect it. For now please enjoy your free time, spare cash and all the beautiful freedoms that come with being single….because you never know how little time you have together before they’re gone.
I like your post, but I’m as lost as you and have not much to say. I love that you are asking a constructive question instead of blaming your target demographic. I think that is a good start!
Married people and couples aren’t always as deliriously happy as you think they are..
do other stuff that makes you happy. You’ll find someone when you stop focusing on what you don’t have.
Bars aint the only places. Anywhere you go you can meet someone nice. The park, the grocery store, gas station, coffee shop, while at work and not specifically co-workers for that matter, post office etc. Just gotta keep your eyes peeled and make eye contact with em and when you do, smile and if hey smile back say hi and if you get a chance to talk it up by all means f’ing go for it because we only got this one life so lets live it up. You can do it man, you work hard and you deserve it to be out there meeting someone anywhere you go. Hope your day goes good and happy weekending whatever your plans may be.
I don’t want to be blunt or harsh, but you sound like you might be a little insecure and people pick up on that energy from a mile away. People aren’t interested in people who aren’t interested in themselves. I would start trying to adapt a nonchalant attitude, but not too much. Don’t act like a jerk, just go into dating type environments with an attitude that says “I’m not desperate to be here”, don’t over engage at first, and don’t expect anything from anyone. This has always worked for me
You look good, dude. Honestly, meeting someone you like and who likes you back is down to luck. I met no one until I was 22 and it surprised me when it happened. From what I’ve experienced, you’ll most likely meet such people in a combination of places you like and circumstances you push yourself into.
For example, if you like books, frequent a bookstore or try going to a book signing. If you like sports, try joining a group of people who play every so often or watch a game irl. If you see an attractive woman during your server job, be friendly and shoot your shot if they seem friendly back.
In my case, I’m often online and started interacting with more strangers online. I met my bf shortly after I made my reddit account (I interacted with many other strangers before him through other places lol). So basically, put yourself out there in spaces that align with your interests and you’ll find someone very compatible with you if you’re lucky. Whoever you meet is bound to have something in common with you since you frequent the same places.
Hang in there bro
After 9 years of f*cking hating dating apps, I met the guy I’m seeing now through one. Just takes one person. And time. And patience.