Sorry, this is a bit long. It’s been around three months since I (M30) started seeing this girl (F26). We both live abroad, and our workplaces are very close, so we have some mutual friends/colleagues, but we don’t work together. Although things went great in the beginning, she was hesitant to progress things, because 1) She found it complicated because of having many mutual colleagues and stuff, and 2) Because she was very likely to move back home this summer. She started saying we should probably just be friends. But things progressed nevertheless between us naturally and we’ve ended up becoming quite close. The past 2-3 weeks we have basically been living together. Mostly she has slept at my place, and i’ve slept at her place a few times aswell. Before she left for summer holidays she moved in with me for a week, because she had to leave her place a bit earlier than expected. We’ve been waking up together every day, making dinner together, going on trips together where we hold hands etc.. I had a friend who visited me from home who also lived with us for two days, which went fine. There is however a big problem, and i am not sure how i should deal with this, and it’s really tearing me apart right now, which is why i wanted to ask for advice here.
I have brought up the whole “are we a couple” thing, but she doesn’t seem to want to put a label on anything now, because of her being very likely to move. I have proposed that if she is indeed moving, which is very likely, that we could still try long-distance. It’s around a 3hr flight between us, and i am staying abroad until next summer. She is however hesitant to this, and has told me that she has tried long-distance once before and it didn’t really work out. She does seem to actually want to be with me under the right circumstances, as she said “i can be your girlfriend for these weeks lol..” when she lived with me. She claims that being away from eachother will be stressful as she will feel the need to text/call all the time and stuff like that. The usual problems for LDR’s i guess..? We have talked about seeing eachother this summer, that she could come visit me at home, or vice-versa, but we live on the opposite sides of the country we’re from. It’s still possible though, and she has seemed genuinely interested in making that happen. I told her that if she was to come to me with my family that i wouldn’t be introducing her as “my friend”. She still seems to struggle with putting a label on us and is kinda joking about it saying “you should introduce me as your colleague then”. The most recent talk we had about this was two nights before she left. I brought up the couple thing and she didn’t really know what to say it seemed. She told me “we just have to see what happens” and that we shouldn’t stress about it. While i do really understand what she means, i feel uneasy about having summer holidays without actually having agreed about what our relationship is. Am i being unreasonable here? We are both going to be with friends in our hometowns, probably going out etc, and i want to know if we are exclusive or if i should expect her to be out chasing other guys? Am I single or not? We are both still matched on Tinder (which is where we met) and it just feels weird. She told me earlier that she is not active on the app, and i told her too, but still..
I dropped her off at the airport a few days ago where we kissed goodbye. I am very sad about this potentially not working out. Like, i finally find someone and of course this happens. We’ve been texting from time to time since she left, but i’ve felt like maybe the best thing is to give her some space now and not ask her any complicated questions yet. I don’t know how to approach this situation moving forward. We have talked about meeting this summer, which would be ideal, so i need to bring that up at some point. When? Should i eventually bring up a conversation about exclusivity? Or should i let her bring that up if she feels like she wants to address it?
I know from what I’ve said that it might seem like she keeps saying indirectly “no” to being with me, but it’s more complicated than that. It seems like she would definitely be in a relationship with me if not for the distance. Like, if she continued to stay here abroad she would be living with me. We did talk about it when there still was a chance that she could be staying abroad for another year. I really want to at least give it a shot, even if we have some distance between us, but i’m not sure how i should approach this. Advice, thoughts?