I cannot talk with girls at all when I my brain thinks what they are thinking about me or how am i being portrayed, how do I make them laugh or crack a joke. This is all my brain, not me if you ask me do you want to crack a joke, i would say hell no.. Even when they are kids and relatives, I mean they were kids when I was in my teens now they are all grown up. I cannot make a decent conversation with them.
I don’t think of them in inappropriate way but it’s just that my brain tells me “you’re not gonna make a few sentences to talk with them so i try with awkwardness and that will be all that is happening in my head. And ultimately it’ll be cringe.
Not that I cannot talk with girls at all. I had a girlfriend until a month back(but that’s not the point). I have many female friends. It’s like, if I know I’m there only as a friend and don’t think what others are thinking, I wouldn’t have a problem at all. I even play low, making a point to myself that I am not attracted to them. How do I control it? how do I see a women(that I think is out of my league) in conversation and only think about hte convo.. I don;t care canvo.
1 comment
>my brain thinks what they are thinking about me or how am i being portrayed
I can assure you people are mostly thinking about themselves not you. You aren’t that important.
>how do I make them laugh or crack a joke
You should be self-amusing not their personal dancing monkey.
>I even play low
Why would any self-respecting person do that?
>making a point to myself that I am not attracted to them
That sounds like a weird thing to bring up to a friend and really counter-productive if you are actually attracted to them.
>It’s like, if I know I’m there only as a friend and don’t think what others are thinking, I wouldn’t have a problem at all.
You are entering a fight-or flight response when you are attracted to someone, which is causing you to be anxious, needy, over-filter, and see the conversation and competative rather than collaborative. But with your friends this isn’t happening.
What you need to do is stop caring so much what these people think, self-amuse more, and get into the mindset that you have standards and see if they meet these standards.