My friend set me up with a long time crush and it went super great, beyond my expectations. Humor, conversations about anything under the sun, we took care of each other and leaned on each other. It was good. We went on dates and spent time with each other, just not that frequent due to the pandemic. We were dating for 11 months, the relationship wasn’t really established for what it was or what it could be. And then one day he just stopped talking to me. Right now honestly I’m over it. But I couldn’t help thinking if it’s really about me or it’s nothing personal when people do this?
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Its not personal and its not about you. They do this, because they dont care about you. Really, its a selfish act.
I don’t ghost, it’s immature and childish. But I do leave conversations hanging before they are established. Like if someone from Instagram or tinder started a conversation I ignore them varying on a few things but I don’t define that as ghosting and more often say not interested. I certainly don’t ghost people I physically have met that’s abit drastic
They’re pussies. Simple.
They don’t care enough about others to even notify they’re leaving. Shit person behaviour. Sucks to end up on that “did they ghost or did they actually just fucking die” dilemma, but once you know they’re ghosting, you can conclude they were worthless.
11 months? That’s not ghosting anymore. That’s just a asshole
Are you sure he’s not dead or in jail or something. Its kind of odd after 11 months.
Usually you ghost a 1-2 date affair because they said or did something ridiculous and you find it funnier than calling it off.
1) He got tired of the relationship
2) He got insecure
3) He met someone else
As a ghoster i want to go danny phantom rn, but in reality it’s because 1 i’m not in a pliable mood to talk, 2 your request was unreasonable enough to warrant silence, or 3 you straight up crazy clingy and you need someones reassurance at nearly all times to make a simple decision. These may be mixed matched and even, blended into a perfect storm of i’m not gonna respond to that. Also sometimes people are busy and know that you’re gonna be mad if you don’t have an answer the moment you read it, when life just, isn’t like that. It’s ambiguous, uncharted and downright frightening at times, and everyones expected to be near perfect communicators all the time. No Shot
They found greener grass, narcissist.
I don’t ghost but I get why people do it. Breaking up with someone is painful for both parties. Ghosting someone is an easy way to avoid that painful situation.
I don’t ghost people, but it is very common.
How was it, that after 11 months:
>the relationship wasn’t really established for what it was or what it could be
That seems quite odd. It sounds like it never was much of a relationship.
Whether it’s personal or not it’s not something you should take to heart. The opinion of someone who can’t face you is worth less than dirt.
In your case I’d ask him what happened.
The only time I “Ghost” someone is when there’d be no point in explanations, as in *drama* or *arguments*. The biggest reason for some, though, is cowardice.
I hardly ghost but when I have, these were the situations:
– leaving an abusive relationship with a woman who was squatting in my condo and threatened to ruin my career
– had a friend of 10 years who was an on again and off again fwb who approached my client after meeting him a few times in a bar when I was socializing with him and literally told him she could be his mistress if he paid her rent or leased her a car. He called me and told me the details, I called her and asked her if it was true, she didn’t deny it and then just said I was being a prude. I hung up and blocked her and deleted her. I didn’t want the drama nor did I want to be around someone who would be brazenly compromise my career reputation. She proceeded to tell everyone I was an Asshole who took advantage of her when she was drunk. Thank god I’ve always acted above board with everyone And no one believed her sorry ass.
– I was on the 7th or 8th date and I came out of the shower to find her snooping in my filing cabinet which was obviously a fucking filing cabinet with my tax info and mortgage documents etc. Pretended to not notice and then kicked her out in the morning and blocked her. Didn’t want the drama.
– was 6 weeks in a great passionate new relationship to find out she lied to me about who she was, name and all. She was engaged to another man and wanted a last fling with someone “exciting” to double check if she could really settle down with her “boring bf”. We argued, I stopped returning calls. She came by my work like 6 months later to say sorry and ask if we could start over now that she was single.
The only reason I’ve ever done it was when I got tired of doing all the communicating and just decided to let her make the next move. She thought I ghosted her. I was just waiting for her next text.
From what I’ve seen of others, I think it’s due to politics and modern call-out culture. Everyone just avoids conflict now because conflict is usually just tribal. You don’t expect the other person to be reasonable… You expect them to come at you with a toolbox of logical fallacies and social opinions. In that environment, the best choice is to not engage.