My bf (M27) has been trying to find a new job for two years.
I feel like it doesn’t take two years to find a new job in his career field. He’s completely qualified but can’t seem to land anything.
We want to move soon, which will take higher incomes for both of us. He currently has a job, but the pay is low. (I -F24 already got a higher-paying job) We’d both love to buy a home in our new city, but my new income and his original income won’t suffice. If he had an income similar to mine, we’d be able to afford the life we want. I’ve settled for renting, partly bc of the current housing market and because my bf couldn’t afford his share of buying outright. The only thing is that he can’t afford the rent increase either. Regardless of if we buy or rent, there will be a cost of living increase. We currently split bills 70% for me and 30% for him. I feel so locked in because of his finances. He knows I dislike our current location and wants to move; it just feels like he’s the only reason we can’t. Am I supposed to wait for him?
4 comments
No.
He’s had more than enough time. At this point it seems more like he’s comfortable, and taking advantage. Maybe he thinks no consequences will befall onto him.
It’s probably ultimatum time….
In this economy?
Have you seen the housing
market? The renting rates?
We are out here surviving and he needs to get on it. I would panic if I was out of job for even a month. How can he be without job for 2 years?
Tell him no. Its financially impossible and irresponsible. Tell him to get a crappy part time job at a restaurant or something until he lands a real job. If you don’t see him applying to places every week, he is not trying.
On basis of money it’s not hard to find a job you’re right.
But I imagine you’d much prefer a lower paying job and be happy than higher pay and be miserable. So finding that balance could be a lot harder to do.
There’s obviously the context he’s being lackadaisical about it. Which would be a relationship advice problem.
Are you not ok with being the “bread winner” is this coming from a place for him to do better? Or is this all a numbers game.
I’ve been in the same boat. Depending how your relationship is outside of finances I’d say because of the current economy there’s no harm at least for this to be worth waiting on.
That also means there’s no harm in you “prepping” for the worst. Assuming you’ve been building a savings/safety net/ down payment at least on your own.
But if you can’t even do that than him not being able to contribute is a serious thing and is holding you down which isn’t fair.
I’d try to keep pushing but be a lot more proactive in it. Maybe consider getting into that higher paying job even if it means moving the split back to 50/50 so you can start looking to move up etc.
There’s a lot of avenues here but if they’re actively looking and not being lazy about it than patience and extra support is key