Platonic Love, Asexuality and Sexless Marriages

5 comments

1. What??

2. I’m an asexual, specifically apothisexual, woman happily marred to my wonderful wife.

   Some asexual people are okay with having sex, others like myself are not. Asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction, but some enjoy sex regardless of not being interested.

   Asexuality is also not being aromantic, asexuals can be romantically attracted to someone and romantic attraction is very different from platonic feelings.

   Neither my wife or I have ever had sex with anyone, I have no interest at all in having sex ever, but we still have intimacy and romance in our lives. We kiss, hold hands, cuddle often, dance together, goof around together, make each other laugh, sometimes we just lay side by side talking quietly and enjoying the comfort of being close to each other. We have a wonderful marriage with very little we disagree on.

3. So I would look to Love Theory triangle for an answer. Platonic love is just love that has gone away from the passion and possibly intimacy of a relationship and is just committed. Asexuality can still have the passion but intimacy is lacking in a way but still strong commitment.

   Can you be asexual and have sex in a marriage, why yes. Just because you are asexual doesn’t mean your relationship is a dead bedroom unless you are selfish asexual partner. Now if both partners are asexual and they are happy with the arrangement then its not a dead bedroom cause there is no bedroom in the first place. If you are going to be that why with a partner then why be in the relationship?

4. Platonic love and asexuality are not the same. Platonic love is a way to feel love. Asexuality is about sexual attraction. Sexual attraction and love are not always connected. People are sexually attracted to and have sex with people they do not love or feel romantic attraction to all the time. You can be asexual and have romantic attraction and feelings for another person that aren’t just platonic feelings.

   Not all asexual people are in sexless marriages. Not all people who are married and don’t have sex are asexual.

5. I have a platonic love for my friends. I love them. I have no sexual interest in any of them, male or female or non-binary.

   But I’m not asexual. I desire my husband, I see other men and am interested. We do not have a sexless marriage.