what advice can you give to a guy(20) who has never dated anyone and now is emotionally withdrawn now he doesn’t have any friends?

24 comments

1. No one cares, put yourself out there.

2. focus pn study or anything

3. Relax dude, 20 is still super young. Just chat with people at school or work, find friends with common hobbies.

4. You sound like , me is scared to ask the question yet.

5. Take the long journey to love yourself. Become happy with who you are. Once you do that you can then find true friends and eventually a partner.

   It takes a long time and it’s one of the hardest things you will do but it’s so worth it

   Best of luck redditer

6. Hell is more interesting than where you’re at. You don’t want to be the older man with no memories or relationships. How do you even explain that? “Yeah, I wish I knew where you were coming from but I always had a fear of life.”

   Courage is just jumping into the pool. You’re 20, this is the only time you get to royally fuck up, have sex with whoever, make mistakes, go to jail, and learn from it all. Your 20’s is fucking up and learning from it.

7. Get a job. If you work a job eventually you will end up with friends, and maybe even romantic partners.

8. [deleted]

9. As a 33 year old guy in the same situation…. Start changing now because it only gets worse.

10. He (you, if we’re talking about you) doesn’t need advice. He needs a friend.

    Advice comes much later.

11. In general just follow the flow of life and try to be nice to everyone. The right person will come trust me dude, I’ve been there.

12. However much as an outcast you feel, there’s many people like you. Find people with common interests, everything is OK.

13. Focus on yourself. If the women out there don’t want to be with you and your fake friends left you then it’s time that you work on yourself. Start working out and going to the gym and maybe build a 6 pack if you want. If you have any acne from your teenage years then start a skincare routine to get rid of it. If you’re unemployed, try and find a good job that you enjoy and a job that will increase your pay overtime. Save up and buy expensive clothing and accessories like Gucci watches and Nike shoes and stuff. Sooner or later, when you go out in public looking nice and wearing expensive accessories, people will want to be your friend and women will start to talk to you. You just need to stay viligent and watch out for the gold diggers.

14. I’m not going to lie to you and guarantee you that it gets better. I’m 29 and in the same boat. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen. Ignoring the possibility is doing you a disservice. I will tell you, from experience, that if you aren’t getting validation from others, over time you learn to seek ways to attain fulfillment on your own.

    For example, I earned a bachelor’s degree with honors, got a job in a field related to that degree and have earned promotions. I am currently preparing to study for a master’s degree and will purchase property in the next 12-18 months. I’m going to continue to work full-time so I think I will have enough on my plate for a little while.

    None of this seems extraordinary on the surface, but I come from a poor family that never owned a home. My parents didn’t graduate high school, and I was the first in my family to earn a four year degree.

15. Well some of this advice is good and some of its awful, but honestly we kinda need more context to give you a proper valid constructive ideas,

    But friends is probably the hardest, because getting a job or doing any of this other stuff doesn’t mean your guaranteed friends, certainly not high quality ones. your best bet would probably be to find someone who is very personable and makes friends easily and have them help you move into more sociable circles and then you can use your own judgement to find the folks who fit best with you 🙂

16. I would say learn to be social (truly, not just playing a role) before thinking about dating.

    Think about your flaws and qualities and find what’s interesting and nice about yourself. If you don’t, others won’t either

17. Women make fun friends. Have fun and remove all possibilities or expectations from your mind. If there’s no possibility of anything happening, then you don’t worry, and everything social is just a good time.

    It’ll make you much more confident and outgoing if everyone is just mates.

18. Start small work your way up, maybe get a dog

19. Try to build up your social network one person at a time. Appreciate the important people in your life. Discard the people who mean nothing and have no respect for you

20. Get yourself out there join groups and activities that interest you. Try online dating go on multiple dates shrug it off if it doesn’t work and try again. Just get out there you are young enjoy yourself.

21. My advice: start volunteering for something.
    They’ll be super appreciative of you being there, you’ll build social connections and it’s very low pressure.
    Great way to make friends and build confidence.
    And hey, if it sucks, just leave – nothing lost!

22. Get hobbies and interests. Make money first. Go out alone. Learn to enjoy being there. Practice talking to people with no expectations. Find groups and or team sports. Make acquaintances. Learn how to talk to anyone like an old man can. If you can afford it, get a dog to walk places. Find a venue like a cafe or a bar. Become a regular. Learn to actively listen.

23. I was that way 17 years ago.

    Consider it a blessing. It’s tough at the time but I watched a lot of people struggle with breakups and drama over someone who probably isn’t meant to be long-term anyway. I saw so many of my friends get married between 18 and 25 and by 30 they were divorced and moving on.

    But. Be yourself. Invest in yourself. And realize that someone out there that you like or have liked also liked you. It’s really easy to be oblivious to the signs that someone is interested and I spent a long time depressed and antisocial because I assumed no one liked me.

24. I am 25, have always been single. I can say two things with certainty.
    1. I haven’t really missed out, just look at society. Good women are a needle in a haystack.
    2. If your not okay alone you won’t be okay with someone.

    I am more than happy and have no regrets that I am saving myself for marriage. I know I will regret not saving myself.
    Those who fly alone have the strongest wings,
    You have to be intentional in building friendships much less dating. Find peace in yourself, enjoy spending time with yourself.
    It’s better to be alone then with people who say they are your “friends”.