Usually when guys hit on me, I (F20) don’t reply and I always let him (M22) know about it. It happens less with him that girls hit on him or msg him, but when it does, he always replies. Not just the neutral cold reply, but he’s actually very friendly and it’s obvious he tries to engage in the conversation.
Recently, one of the girls he used to like before msged him, and he talked to her casually and tried to be funny by sending memes to drive her off. Note that they had a history where he liked this girl for years and they even made out but she was just leading him on so it didn’t work out.
He said jokingly that it’s different with men and women because with me there are a lot of guys waiting for our breakup, but with men, not a lot of girls are waiting in line. At the end, the only reason the conversation would end, is if they don’t reply to him anymore.
Should I be bothered about this?
4 comments
I think you should be bothered by this. I wouldn’t reply to any girls if I was in a relationship, because well, I’m in a relationship. Even if the chat was platonic, it wouldn’t seem right messaging them. Perhaps you could tell him that you don’t feel comfortable with him messaging other girls?
I wouldnt say you should worry.
It seems hes just trying to drive them off in a very nice manner instead of a blunt way.
Me personally, if hes not being flirty with them i wouldnt worry. But if it does make you uncomfortable regardless.
Sit down, and talk about it. Maybe ask him why he doesnt just outright push them but kindly bscks them off. Talk about it with him.
Honestly the way i see it, if theyve been friends for a long time, then its a bit different. Hard to just cut off someone you’ve known for a good amoubt of time. If theyre new comers and hes commited to you he should probably ignore them or be short with them. I find it to be healthy for men and women to have friends of the opposite sex, that way you are more understanding of the other side, but to just keep engaging with randoms is off putting.
Potentially the talking with girls could even be a self esteem thing, i dont know his situation or if he has self esteem issues but having many of the opposite sex showing interest even platonic will appease that desire. Should probably talk about it and let him know how you feel.
Idk seems kinda sus