I am currently 18 years old, turning 19 soon, and about to start community college. I really want to get a girlfriend. But I really want to have loving relationship, not just a good friend, to have sex with, and just say “I love you” over and over. and probably break up after 1 to 2 years later of the relationship. I have lot of friend with relationships like that.
I would like to find someone who I could gladly see going serious with. Someone who can 100% accept, and still love me. Someone who I can just love.
Basically looking for the love of my life/soulmate, if you think that term is real.
But how do I meet her, or what should I do to try to find her. I’ve tried Tinder and other dating apps/sites, but most of them are just sex, and all of them make you pay stupid amounts of money, or just scams. Also I live around San Diego area of California. And lot of the girls my age are… ummm… I really don’t wanna be disrespectful at all, show off their bodies a lot, and do not attract me. And there’s a lot of girls in my age, and there great people, a lot of them are goods friends. But they’re only friends. But there are many times I do want to be a relationship with them, but I realized that a lot of times I make stuff about them in my head, that are not true about them. Just fantasize what I want them to be, not who they are. Also I really don’t want you have 100 ok girlfriends, I really wanted to find the special one, that’s it. I’d rather wait for a while, defined the special girl, and get a home run. Then go to first or second base with a bunch of other girls.
But I do not know what to do. Can I get some advice, or is there any online service that could help. I can understand that this is pretty ridiculous, and the problem is probably me. Maybe I should put my standards down for love. But it’s hard man, I need to try at least. I rather learn myself that is stupid. But I really wanna find that girl. Or just give me some advice. Or is there a sub-reddit that is about finding the love of your life.
Ps, sorry for the typos
12 comments
Tinder won’t help with that sort of thing, real life interaction is important. You will probably find this person among people you meet throughout your life, and most of the time not digitally. Try talking to people, even with subtle approaches such as asking for help on something, or seeing if they need help on something. If you like someone, I suggest these tactics, they’ve worked for me, but only once. And only once for a reason! 😀
Bro, just learn what you want from your life and keep talking to women and get to know them. Eventually you will find it with experience.
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.
Do that until you find someone who also does that and is compatible.
Take your time and be yourself. Do not settle. Be patient. Wait for the right person who really works for you.
You’re in love with the idea of love, but expecting Disney levels of all-consuming romance and happy ever after isn’t realistic. A best friend who you can have sex with is as good as it gets and even that is hard to find.
Work on yourself everyday a woman of quality will find you eventually.
You will find it by not trying to find it. Selfdevelopment is key at your age. This is the time to make the most progession, learn new things, workout, read and be genuinely interested in others. Be social everywhere you go without having any expectations. You will feel the flow and be good brother
My advice would be, stop looking for it. Relationships take time to evolve into what you are looking for. Love grows it doesn’t just happen, find someone you find attractive and get along with then take it step by step, take it slow and build a connection. If it’s meant to be it will happen and if it doesn’t feel right you can move on.
I think going into a relationship with this expectation could force you to be unnecessarily picky and perhaps turn down someone that could be a good match. People adjust as a relationship builds. The early steps should be fun and simple.
I’d also worry that if you found someone you thought had the potential you would get too serious too soon and could put them off.
Live life
Keep putting yoursef forth, and if you get rejected, move on. Do not stop until you get a partner you trust.
I am 30 still single despite working hard on being a dateable likable person every day of my life and I’ve learned one thing – it all boils down to whether God wants you to be loved or alone. The future’s already been written. If he’s decided that you are meant to find a loving wife, you don’t need to worry. If he’s decided you need to grow old and stay solitary there’s really nothing you can do.
Take this with a grain of salt or two but what has always worked for me was to stop actively seeking out a relationship with someone else and establishing a healthy and loving relationship with myself. Also, going out and being social without any expectations helps a lot too.
Just be open, loving and patient and eventually you’ll meet that one person where everything just clicks. Till then, have fun, be safe and enjoy what life has to offer.