Just had it happen to me. I think she (29F) was checking out on me prior and I know she checked out on the previous dude prior, but my god did it hurt like hell watching her monkey branch into something new within WEEKS after we broke up.
I admit I had my faults and probably pushed her to that point – particularly with communication/etc.
I just want to know because now I don’t think I will ever be able to date someone so soon after seeing someone else. I prefer people to take single time and to be vetting others/dating around so they know who they want to date.
Not just latch onto someone immediately who gives them attention.
TL;DR Recent ex monkey branched and I think the red flag there was how she jumps into relationships far too quickly after breaking up with the last. Thoughts?
3 comments
I think it depends on the length,intensity and type of relationship. If the relationship was for a month or two, I would not see it as a red flag. When the relationships are over a year, I’d probably see that as a red flag.
I’d call it a slightly smaller red flag than the verbing of “monkey branch” and an adult who cannot handle rejection without demonizing the other person.
Different people cope differently with breakups, very few people consciously “rebound”, and sometimes the relationship that looks to the whole world like a rebound, lasts for life. There is simply no telling.
While knowing your ex is seeing someone else quickly can add the hurt, it’s pointless (and ugly) to dwell in judgment over someone who simply wasn’t as into you as you were into them.
Worry about your own health and happiness. Hers is not an issue any longer in your life.
When I was in high school I did this… they weren’t short relationships though. I had about 3 different relationships that all lasted about a year. After each relationship ended it wasn’t long before I’d get into a new one. It wasn’t anything weird I just kept finding people I really liked quickly and decided to go for it rather than wait. I was over them so why wait? If it was a bunch of quick Burst relationships though I’d be concerned. Edit to add it wasn’t me going out actively looking for a new relationship either. It would just kind of happen