What quality did you want in a partner until you experienced it?

12 comments

1. I wanted them to be cold to others, until I realized that meant they would also be cold to me.

2. Fun-loving, life of the party. I really didn’t think that one through.

3. Clingyness. I had only had avoidant partners up to that point and thought it would be refreshing. Oh boy, it was not.

4. Honesty. I still want it but I’m more careful because there’s too many people out there who confuse “being honest” with “being a blunt asshole”.

5. I always complained that my ex wasn’t cultured as he didn’t like watching my obscure foreign language films. A few months after we broke up I found a massive film buff to date but he was the most pretentious human I’ve ever met. He didn’t have a Netflix account because it was “too mainstream” and constantly insulted every film and band I’ve ever loved.

   After that, I’d rather uncultured than snobby any day of the week!

6. Less athletic than the guys I had always dated. I didn’t go looking for them, active guys approached my combo bookworm/active self. Thought I wanted more time with a man not at practice, or in a game/tournament. WRONG!!! Love my abundance of alone time.

   When I experienced a less active guy, with more free time on his hands, that he wanted to spend clinging to me…Yuck!
   I am a naturally fast walker in a huge, fast-paced city, and less athletic dude couldn’t even keep up with the walking pace or rhythm.

7. Overly attentive and romantic. Puke, no, give me some space.

8. Jealously.
   Sounds hot reading about it as a stupid teenager but once I experienced a bf being jealous in real life it was pathetic, arrogant and downright annoying

9. The successful “Business Man” – you know, the one with the VP job type that is so well spoken and has their life in order to a T. Basically the guy that every woman leaves in a Hallmark movie. Lol. Now I know why they leave them. 👀

   My husband is the complete opposite of this now. While I was hesitate at first, I think the match for me personally was exactly what I needed to fit my personality. Down to earth, likes the outdoors, has DIFFERENT interests than me, etc.

10. I wanted to be with a totally muscular guy. Then I got the chance and it felt like sleeping with a boa constrictor. 😖

11. Clingy behavior

12. Tall guy. I’m tall myself and with all the standard hype about them it seemed obvious. But then I dated a guy 5 in taller than me. It was so annoying. I couldn’t just kiss him on the cheek, he wouldn’t shut up about our heights, people would make comments about theoretical future children. I rapidly discovered guys close to my height are best. They don’t usually have Napoleon complexes or absurd pride over something they have no control over, kisses whenever I want, hugs are nicer. Just normal human interaction. No difficulties.