This is my first time posting here since I don’t know where else to go so I’m sorry in advance if it’s not welcomed.
Some of my friends describe me as a person that fits in any group and that’s pretty accurate. I have a few amount of group of friends who all have different interests but I still mesh well with them. The problem is that I feel like I don’t mesh completely well. Best way to describe it is like a person who has a vast amount of knowledge in a bunch of areas but it’s only surface level knowledge, so despite the amount of knowledge, I’m not an expert in anything. I like my friends, but I don’t know if I can consider them close to me since we never have close conversations.
My long time best friend has been away in the Air Force for years now and he told me that he’s leaving out of the country soon to be stationed. My closest friend broke up our friendship about half a year ago leaving me with a few more people that I consider close, or so I thought. I thought I’d be alright now that I’m out of college and had time to hang out with people but the more I try to reach out to my close friends, the more I’m reminded that nothing lasts forever. One close friend doesn’t even open my messages anymore yet views my stories. One of my favorite hiking buddies stopped replying and I noticed that it was because they stopped following me. Why? No clue. One of the last people that I love hanging out with keeps canceling plans even though they keep wanting to hang out and saying they miss hanging out. This has been happening since February and I’ve yet to see them again. Their birthday was over a month ago and I haven’t even been able to see them to even give them their gift. It’s all really discouraging and makes me feel like I should stop trying with these people. I get people get busy at times, but it’s disheartening to try to see the people that I care about turn the other way.
After having my hiking offer canceled once again, I went through my friends list and honestly couldn’t find anyone that I wanted to reach out to and it made me realize that I really can’t count on anyone. There’s one person that I reconnected with after years but they’re in a relationship that practically limits their interactions with me so I’d rather no cause any problems.
Is this what getting older is like? I’m only 25 but I feel like my city doesn’t have much to offer anymore. Part of me wants to move and start fresh elsewhere but I know deep down it won’t solve my problem.
1 comment
I’m not sure if this is helpful, but something similar happened to me (albeit in college), and I realized that either people were growing apart from me or they were truly busy, when I thought they were just ignoring me.
How I see it, whatever you put out into the world, whoever is serious about wanting to be your friend, they’ll return it back to you. It sounds like you’ve put out good vibes to all these people, and maybe some of them weren’t “worthy” of receiving it. It also sounds like some of your friends got super busy and caught up in life, which happens too. They may circle back in their own time to reach out to you.
Two days ago, after 2 years of not speaking (nothing bad happened, we just grew apart after college), my last college roommate reached out to me via text and said she still considers me her close friend and that she misses me a lot, and was wondering how I was doing. I never thought to reach out to her because I figured she’d moved on to meeting new friends in her new city where her job is, when she started two years ago. But that text changed my perception of everything. People / your friends are probably still thinking of you, including people that may not even come to mind for you right now. It sounds like e for whatever reason, the timing is off now, but my greatest advice is to keep putting out good energy like you are now (sending messages every now and then, saying happy bday or a simple “hope you’re doing well”) and you’ll be surprised to see when old friends may circle back in due time to check on you too!