TLDR: All my friends want to f**k my boyfriend and it’s driving me insane. Do I cut them off?
My friend group has/had 6 girls in it. L(21) S(23) R(21) J(22) Sc(21) & me. Every one of my friends would sleep with my boyfriend if they could. Every. Single. One. It makes me feel like I have no one to turn to whenever we have arguments because I can’t trust any of them. I know it sounds like I’m being paranoid but I actually just know I’m right. I’ve cut down contact with most of my friends because of this.
I’m not crazy. In the years I’ve been with my boyfriend one by one my “friends” have done some really shady shit in regards to my bf.
1) L: She was speaking to my bf before I did. They slept with each other once. He broke her heart. She tried so hard warning me away from him. She always shit talks him and tries to get me to leave him. But whenever she knows we’re seeing him she spends HOURS on her make up, will wear unreal outfits (even if we’re doing something minor) and usually gets drunk & tries flirt with him/playfight with him.
2) S: She always knew my bf before me as they went to school together. They used to sleep with each other when they were in school. She will sometimes shamelessly flirt with him, has tried to sit on his multiple times when I’m there, and messages him constantly.
3) R: When me and my bf broke he joined tinder. When we got back together he deleted the app but not the account. R came across his unused account, and messaged me asking how me and him were doing. When I said fine she said “why is he on tinder then💁🏼♀️”. Me and him were sat next to each other and we had a pretty heated argument. He downloaded tinder to prove he hadn’t used it since we got back together. When he downloaded the app, we see she had SUPER LIKED him! When I confront her she said “I just wanted to see if he would like me back so I could let you know if he was on it”. I thought that was a sus excuse but dropped it. Then a few months ago she out of nowhere followed her instagram with her priv account (where she posts nudes, thirst traps etc).
4) Sc: She was by far the biggest betrayal, to the point where she isn’t even really in the group because of what she did. Days after me and my bf broke up, while consoling me, she was in his dms, saying she was hotter than me, and that she would be much better in bed than me because I was a virgin when I met him where as she has experience. He showed me their messages when we got back together. That was a huge kick in the teeth.
5) J: I left J until last as she was the most recent one to do some weird shit, and she is also my bestest and oldest friend. The other day me her & my bf went out drinking together. Afterwards we were sat in her car listening to music, and drunk me decided it would be a good idea to give my bf head in the back. While this happened J started watching and grabbing him and asking us for a threesome. When we said no she got super shitty and stormed off, leaving us in the car. She came back an hour later and left. She apologised the next day but has since invited my bf to her “girls night” bday party, and has changed her outfit to something much more revealing.
Once J did what she did it sunk in that literally EVERY friend of mine has dine some snakey shit regarding my boyfriend. I honestly feel so betrayed and hurt. I feel like my world literally has come tumbling down with the realisation that I have no true friends. I feel like a total loser and honestly like I’m a joke to them. I don’t know what to do at this point.
5 comments
I’m confused, did you and your boyfriend break up or not?
First they are absolutely not your friends and probably never were.
They were all waiting to get your bf. They will betray you in no time
both of you should go NC with them. They won’t bring anything good in your relationship Just waiting for your bf to mess up.
Curious, but does your boyfriend have a golden d!ck or something? Is he a model? Good lord.
So, I’m non-monogamous myself, so people having interest/arousal/making passes is totally fine by me. What’s not alright are other people’s boundaries/expectations/preferences. I also can’t abide dramatic/toxic people, regardless of what their sexual preferences/dating styles are like. It sounds like your friends are in the latter category and I would be sussed out as well, *despite* being non-mongamous. Getting pissed off when someone turns you down for a threesome? Insulting someone else’s body? Going after someone who is in a monogamous relationship? Just a an incredible waste of time and disrespectful. I’d say your justified in cutting the lot of them if you want. This is a reason why, with a decade of experience on you, I tend to try to make friends with people, not friend groups anymore. Too much groupthink and letting toxic behaviour slide for the sake of preserving face. Maybe consider who you might think is redeemable and get rid of the rest of them, or find better. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Find friends who inspire you to be better, who respect you and who you feel safe around.
Your boyfriend is just as much a snake as your friends are.
Your biggest mistake was taking him back and keeping these “friends” around. Sounds like you need a completely new social circle.
Typical Reddit always got to find an issue when a man hasn’t done anything
But as to your actual problem you would be better off without them as friends but if you don’t want to be without friends you need to start slowly distancing yourself from them while you make new friends