So recently me (39) and my partner (38) met up with a couple we had met and gotten to know and talk with for a while and over time we decided to engage in a full swap. The night itself was fun. Great conversation, great laughs and we all enjoyed each other and we felt pretty happy about the whole thing. Now l should say that while my partner likes to be dominated, I’m flexible but run more moderate instinctively. I guess I’m feeling a little mislead because in our conversations with the other couple, the partner l was swapping with indicated that she seemed to like more submissive, romantic guys and her husband was more the dominant aggressive type but then afterwards she claimed after our experience that she realized she prefers more dominant instead. To give a simpler example, me and my swap’s energy runs more Skinemax while my partner and her swap’s energy runs more Pornhub.
Now l don’t necessarily think anything is wrong with me and l like to think I’m no where near overly passive in the bedroom but I’m not overly commanding either. I know my partner had a great time with him (the issue itself seemed to stem from my side of things with my swap) but l guess I’m wondering how do you step into a more dominant role with someone without risking overdoing it even after conversation. It feels like a real balancing act and it’s honestly kind of overwhelming and a turnoff having that sort of pressure to be more aggressive or commanding when it should be more natural. Any questions or thoughts welcome.
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Ok so dominant in the bedroom doesn’t have to equal mean or like violent. You can be dominant simply in acting in charge with your words, your actions, your movements. It’s kind of hard to explain but it doesn’t have to mean you’re an aggressive lover in bed or something there’s many ways to be dominant.