I don’t really know where to start. my whole life I have had issues when it comes to paying attention to detail, especially when I am in stressful situations. I have terrible anxiety and I find it hard to think straight in situations with a lot of people, which causes me to make mistakes and do things such as stammer..screw up..etc. I work at a cafeteria style restaurant where I serve drinks at the end of the line. I make dumb mistakes. for example, today my coworker told me to get a coffee and a coke for the next people in line. the woman then comes up and says “a coke for today.” I think that the woman usually gets coffee and her husband usually gets a coke, so I grab 2 cokes for both of them. dumb mistake. she just needed 1. it’s mistakes like that that I do all. the. time. it absolutely destroys my self esteem, because i’m really trying my best. also, another time a customer asked me to grab a small plastic cup for some hot sauce. I am in the middle of grabbing the cup, and my coworker looks down on me, (I was kneeling to get it) and says “WHAT do you need?” I said I was just grabbing the cup for him, and she goes “for hot sauce?” and I say “yes.” she then offers to just do it for me but I got really angry because I felt like
she was acting like i’m an idiot and I don’t know how to do my job. my other coworker also makes jokes like “oh, I pulled a (my name)!” whenever she makes a small mistake or forgets something. it hurts, but I just laugh with her. what can I do to manage my stress and anxiety to think straight so I can stop making such careless mistakes such as forgetting things and screwing up orders? do I really lack common sense or what is wrong with me?
1 comment
Common sense is common because of a common set of experiences. Lacking common sense does not mean someone is stupid, it just means they don’t know, and there are loads of reasons to not know. Chip away at it and you’ll be fine.
Unfortunately, it IS a dog eat dog world, and any signs — ANY signs — that you’ll agree to not doing well, or making a mistake, or just to taking the blame WILL get you put into the bracket of people doing just this to you. Not always, but an awful lot of the time. There are ways to be self aware without being self conscious. Most commonly, I see people who are anxious around others as simply either being too worried about themselves and how they come off, or too worried about what others are doing. And at work, you really shouldn’t be either of these things.
Do your job, accept your mistakes. Recognize you’re a nicely observant person for noticing folks who usually come in with others. Smile and agree that everyone does foolish things sometimes when people mock you (don’t laugh along and contribute nothing, try gently batting the ball back in their court). Notice what you do well, concentrate on that, and notice what you do that makes the work harder for others, and consider how to fix it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Don’t be afraid to nodd understanding when others make mistakes, and maybe offer help IF you have the time and compacity to do so.
Don’t self focus too much.
And do recognize that everyone is also making all of the same silly mistakes you do. Maybe you are new(er) or have less innate understanding (which CAN grow so you will). Maybe your coworkers are just self conscious themselves and need and easy scapegoat.
It will take time, and time, and time. Take the training ground, learn from it. The job will eventually change, or the people in it, but every go around in life builds more experience. Most likely, you will one day find yourself in a position where you are watching someone struggling. Remember to try to be for them whatever it is you may need now.