I work in service industry. So when we are at work, we work close together in our departement. One at work is a little bit sassy. I’ve heard from other colleagues that this person tend to say mean things and laugh it away. I like to get to know a person before I listen to other people’s rumors. But I have noticed this myself.
When I work with this person I just play along. By that, I mean I just pretend and just trying to communicate with this person. I know that his comments are on the edge and that it comes from his insecurity.
An example of this is that this person always points out how old I am (late twenties) and make it a joke. This person is in early twenties. I am comfortable with who I am and how old I am. So it’s fine. This person can sometimes be a little funny too. So we can laugh together too. But the sassy tone it’s not my thing.
But the other day, I was going to walk past this person from the side (small space). And as I walk past this person, this person takes to slapping his elbow in my chest. I was shocked and there were customers present. I was going to lunch at this moment and could only say “what are you doing?” and then left. I was in shock. Would you bring this up with the safety representative at work or just let it slip by?
I don’t mind some comments here and there, but I feel like this was over the top. Afterwards he just tried to joke it away and said «U understood it was a joke right?». I said it was rude and when I said that in the moment I understood that he was pointing at me, like I was making a big fuss about it because I tried to bring it up.
2 comments
Two first steps. First is to get a diary and write down what happened.
Second is to, at some point when it is just the two of you, tell them, clearly, and without emotion “touching me is not acceptable, if it happens again I will be making a complaint”
Maybe this is just a person with poor social skills, but this is also the first steps of a serial abuser. They try it “testing the waters” and pretty soon it starts escalating.
Nip that shit in the bud.
With the verbal stuff, the goal is to “give as good as you get” so you don’t take the banter personally, and return it on an equal level. If you make a mistake and go to far, simply apologise. “sorry, having a bad day and that came out to harsh”
But definitely maintain strong boundaries.
Go to someone in authority immediately and tell them he assaulted you.
Hitting you in the chest with his elbow is not a joke. It is assault.
Do not let this pass without dealing with it appropriately. He is a ticking time bomb and none of you should put up with it.