Been friends/more than friends with this guy for 4 years. Met on an app, started seeing each other, hooking up, etc. Noticed he was drinking a lot. he admitted one night he had a drinking problem. We planned to go to an AA meeting the next day, but he backed out. Didn’t hear from him for a week (I have a busy schedule so wasn’t too unusual), but when I called him that Friday, he said he met someone else and was sorry. Very short conversation.
He started dating someone many years younger, while we continued hooking up. Shouldn’t have, but thought “I was here first” and still wanted him. I think he thinks it’s cool someone that young likes him. Thought I still had a chance though because we had many common interests and could talk about anything. His drinking got worse though. He would try to hide it from his boyfriend. When they’d fight, he’d get crazy drunk and would then call me for help. I’d get there, get some water in him, put him to bed, and he’d say things like “I know I’m hurting you, but you know we’re gonna get married some day”. They broke up after 1.5 years, he spiraled with alcohol, I got him into rehab. When he came out we started hanging out more, hooking up, etc. He’d occasionally text his ex but said they were just friends.
He asked me to move in a few months ago, and he was talking a lot about our future together… getting another dog, what cars we were going to buy together. Said to me “We get along great, like the same things, have the best sex… move in. Who knows what will happen!” Then the ex found out I was moving in and was totally up his ass again. Texting him nonstop, hanging out. He didn’t know me, but probably had suspicions, got jealous, and wanted his boyfriend back because someone else wanted it.
Moved in. After months of denying anything was happening, he told me he has been sleeping with his ex the past couple months and lying about it while also sleeping with me. Said we were done doing that. I come home from work the other morning to find them naked in bed together.
Mad because it was going well, thought we had a shot, but guess it was fake. This ex has now taken him away twice and I hate him, though it’s ultimately my guy’s fault. Having trouble moving on. I live here, and I don’t open up easily to people. But seeing them together and being expected to be OK with that is killing me.
1 comment
This guy has been using you from the start. Find your own place to get out of that hell. He seems to only want you when he is lonely, bored or when he needs to be saved. It is not fair to you at all. You will do better without having him around dragging you down to his level. He did this because this had already happened before and he figured you would be cool with it since you were once before. You deserve a better guy who is for you and only you.