I’m 28 year old guy and I’ve always been the one who had to make the fist step and it really never went anywhere.

Few days earlier I went on a date with a girl who I’ve met in person just three times before. At first encounter she was friendly and energetic. When we met for the second time (with bunch of other friends) she was frolicking around, poking me and making dirty jokes here and there. I didn’t get any of that… Then we exchanged few messages, she asked about my new work (retail) and if she could come by, I said sure, why not. We chatted until the closing hours and when I got home I got message from her if I wanted to go to the movies, zoo or literally whatever with her. And then it finally clicked. This never happened to me before so I was a little bit stupefied but I gladly accepted. We went to the cinema and then spent hours just walking around the city, chatting and laughing. When we parted ways I sent her message jokingly asking about how are we going to call this. She replied “how about we call it a date?” which was exactly what I wanted to hear. And we agreed on another date. We will see where it goes but it’s really refreshing that we can be just so straightforward about it.

So ladies, if you are interested in a guy, please be as subtle as a snowman in the summer, we really appreciate it. Even strong hints often go completely over our heads.

26 comments

  1. That was a nice read and I think your story will help some people. Hope things go well between you and the girl.

  2. This is why whenever I have an enjoyable first date, I text the guy when I get home to say “thanks, I had fun!” I figure dudes appreciate clear signals too. 😉 Congrats!

  4. There is a semaphore meme out there somewhere, which has a girl flipping her hair as signs girls normally give and a guy with orange pylons signalling a plane with hand signals (semaphore) as the types of signs we actually need

  6. Yeah it’s great when it works out. Totally mortifying when the dude has no interest

  7. And guys, dont just leave it up to us women.

    Don’t be afraid to be straightforward about your intentions and emotions. That is incredibly appealing cause no one likes to guess. If a woman can’t value that in you or allow you to show sadness, crying etc (like any normal human being should have the right to!) then I’d give her a hard pass and look for someone who treats you like a human, not just a support system for her own emotions.

    Even if you’re not compatible in the short or long term, you’ll leave a positive lasting impression and be projecting a confident self-respecting vibe that is hard to look past. And you’ll likely have a good woman friend who values you too!

    It’s how my guy hooked me big time. He made the first move and was direct and respectful about showing me his intentions and about me when I did the same. It’s so bloody refreshing!

  8. a few weeks ago, i was eyeing this guy i saw at the bar. i went straight up to him and asked if he was single and if i could get his number. we’re now getting to know each other lol. i was so nervous, but i fucking did it!!!

    edit: wow! i didn’t expect this much attention. thank you for the award!

  10. Lol I’ve asked out almost every guy I liked (if I didn’t it was because they were in a relationship). So that’s about 5-6 guys I can recall and rejected by each one. One of them said he saw me as more of a sister, next day he asks me for nudes and I said “do you ask your sisters for nudes?” (He has an older and you get sister). He tried playing dumb like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

    One guy I told him how I felt in a Valentine’s Day card and knocked on his door so I could give it to him. He took the card and slammed the door in my face.

    Another guy told me no but still wanted to be friends. Then on my 23rd birthday when we went bar hopping with a handful of my friends, I spotted him and my ex best friend at the time making out. They’re still dating to this day 🙂

    I’m glad it worked out for you but my experience + recent events from last Friday, I’m not doing it anymore.

  12. About to put myself out there for the first time with a guy so this was helpful to read! Glad for you, hope it works out with her!

  13. Honestly, I considered downvoting out of pure jealousy. Seriously pondered it for a couple seconds.

    Upvoted because it’s a great story, though. Go forth and show her what an awesome person you are!

  15. Bro, she was throwing her self at you. Seems like it’ll go in the right direction. I would suggest a kiss on the next date, so you set the tone.

    Do your thang

  16. I’m so happy to hear this! I’ve been putting myself out there a lot with the guy I’m talking to right now, and we had a conversation the other night that really put me at ease (and I’ve been super anxious, as I don’t have much experience). He said how much he appreciated my putting in effort, such as coming up with dates, suggesting times/scheduling, putting in effort to call/text. A lot of these things are a lot for me, especially, as I’m a big introvert – and he said how, in past relationships, he felt like he was the only one putting in effort. So it was really nice to hear.

  17. This is lovely. Please, now that you know she wants to date you, don’t make her do all the work. Initiate communication, make plans, and tell her what you want from the relationship. Have fun!

  18. Asked a girl if she wanted to go out sometime to celebrate her birthday. She gave me an answer like “hey I’ll let you know later.” Approached her later and apologized for being so forward. Even after a little conversation before I posed the question.
    Said to her “maybe we can get to know each other a little better. Let me get your number so we can change that.”
    She agreed to the compromise because she seemed like the very shy type. Now we are friends.

  19. true and if you meet a guy that tells you guys dont like when a girl make the first move, dont believe him. Those type of guys are only a small, very small minority

  20. I 34f literally did just this and I am so glad I did. I flirted with him, i messaged him on IG, I asked him out, it’s only been a month but it’s going well so far. He’s said he didn’t want to misinterpret the situation. I can see that. I went against all the grain of “modern female dating” and I love this one so far.

  22. I love this story and agree. Also it’s a good lesson to women that we can be assertive when it comes to what we want bc the right guy will be appreciative of that!

  24. Way to go man! But yes communication does go a long way – if only being up front with intentions was that clear for everyone or normalized, it would be a whole different world. Congrats !

  26. This very cute guy comes into my work all the time and I finally asked for his number. I’m glad to read something like this because I was so afraid he would think I was being too forward. So far its going well, but from a girls perspective the hints are easier than walking straight up to a guy…but it does pay off! Dating is scary on both sides haha

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