Guys in your 30s, how did you deal with heartbreak?

25 comments

1. New pussy always helps

2. Alcohol drugs and strippers numbs you right up

3. I think the proper question to this is…. How are you dealing with it?

4. In my 20s I channeled it into the gym.

   If it happened today I’d channel it into women.

5. Anabolic Steroids. You won’t remember that feelings exist when you’re huge.

6. But you still think he’s your forever and ever?

7. I recently broke up with a girl, because we are just to different.
   I channel it into working out, meeting friends, doing stuff i like. And thats how you get over it.

8. Gym and hanging out with friends really help. Keeping myself busy.

   Definitely getting back in shape helped

9. Back then….my best friend Jim Beam always came to the rescue.

10. Heart break is never easy. I think I used exercise, hobbies and friends to push through it in the long term. Short term I abused booze and had one night stands. Which aren’t helpful except that they are distractions. True heartbreak hurts and it takes time to numb it. I’m married and super happy with my life but that one girl that broke my heart if I’m being completely honest still pops into my head one or twice a year. It doesn’t hurt anymore I have moved on but we were so close and had such a connection I just wonder where she is and how she’s doing.

11. By putting my energy into unionizing the workers against corrupt capitalist schemes

12. Therapy, time, and doing well in my career.

13. Therapy and treating myself better. I figured I’m gonna get over this bitch and I’m gonna learn a lot about myself in the process.

14. In my twenties, I viewed getting broken up with like a loss. As in she had a strong commitment / feelings but lost it.

    In my thirties, I viewed / view getting broken up with like realizing I thought I had something but didn’t. As in I thought she was really committed or had strong feelings but she didn’t. At one time, maybe she thought she did but the passage of time or something that happened made her realize she didn’t.

    Now that I view it as a revelation rather than a loss, it just seems easier. Also, I’m in my mid-thirties so I am not getting broken up with too much at this point.

15. Alcohol, one night stands and work.

16. I keep myself busy with hobbies and activities and lean into my friends and other romantic connections.

17. Work. Self-advancement is the only cure.

18. Like everything it’s just takes time if they remain broken after for a long time it’s because there’s something inside they need to fix, might plug that hole with alcohol or something that’s a common reaction it seems but eventually they’ll figure it out.

    Get that your trying to be considerate OP but really id say it’s worse waiting out in a realationship your not happy in because your worried about the outcome of the breakup , if the guy loves you really you’d hope he would care about your happiness.

    In the long run it will work itself out, in the moment it’s allways awful but every bad experience and heartbreak I’ve had has taught me something.

19. Was devastated at first losing the girl I was planning a family and life around but the self reflection afterwards led me to drink way less (instead of every night more like once every couple months) and also led me to be a more humble and enjoyable guy to be around. I think about her once in a while but only about the planned life we had and yea sometimes I wish things were different but I know had we kept it going I would of never of matured and would of been miserable. It can be an eye opener and a great learning tool if you allow it to be.

20. Feel it all, cry a lot, journal about it, see a therapist, engage in healthy activities like going for bike rides and reading.

    What has not helped but I would try sometimes because pop culture led me to think they would help: drinking, drugs, hooking up or rebounds, complaining, bottling up the emotions and feeling nothing (hello, depression!).

21. It helps to have good, supportive friends.

    Not even to vent to them about the heartbreak specifically (though that can be fine in moderation, as long as you aren’t making your friends your unpaid therapists).

    It’s just good to be around people you care about. Even if you’re just hanging out or playing video games or talking about some unrelated thing, it can really help to not be all alone during sad times. I think that also helps with perspective; Shows that you have more to your life to be happy about than this one thing you’re currently sad about.

22. you dont. you just accept that you’re broken and keep going.

23. Self improvement, hobbies, existential dread

24. Was 31 when I was cheated on and locked up for a false claim from her from the arguement when caught, suffice it to say the marriage was over and I was heartbroken while she already moved on clearly, how did I handle it?

    ​

    Binge drinking and going nothing for almost a year other than wallowing in despair and worrying about the outcome of the court proceedings regarding the false domestic abuse claims.

    ​

    A year later some of my extended family have reached out and taken me in their home in another province, my last court date got me acquitted of the charges with easy conditions to follow and I’m not drowning myself in alchohol, got a job in a new nice town and slowly working toward other improvements in my life, working toward learning to drive since small town life lacks public transportation haha

25. Drink