I (M33) went on a second date with a woman (F34) I matched with on Bumble a few weeks ago, and it started out pretty chill. We were going to go get Italian food, but went to a winery because of the wait. After some wine, we went to a brewery and she suggested buying beer and taking back to my place.
Yeah about that… the basement I’m renting was the messiest I’ve let it get in probably a decade. I had set out to organize my shit and had dumped it all on the floor, and left it there when I got busy with work/travel/appointments. It was stressing the shit out of me for two weeks and I was planning on tackling it that coming weekend. It looked like a grenade had gone off in there, and I specifically avoided inviting her over because of it.
But she was pretty determined, and I figured that if we keep it to the main floor (shared space), it would be fine, and there was always the guest bedroom if things got steamy. I straight up told her I wasn’t expecting company and it was in no way presentable. When we got back to mine, I built a fire in the back yard and was ready to relax, but she kept on asking about how messy my area was. She wanted to see my basement and eventually wore me down until I told her I’d show it to her if she gave me 5 minutes to pick things up.
Quickest I ever “tidied up” my apartment. In reality, I sprinted around scooping things up and throwing them into the room I use as an office. Clothes, cans I had set out to put in the recycle, some dishes from breakfast and lunch that day, mounds of mail I needed to go through. That office looked disgusting, like something from [r/NeckbeardNests](https://www.reddit.com/r/NeckbeardNests/). But the main area was surprisingly clean so I figured I’d give her a quick tour and we could go back to, you know, getting to know each other.
Nah.
She wanted to see inside every fucking closet, drawer, and cabinet. As we get closer to the office door, I really try my hardest to keep attention away from the office door, but it didn’t work and she wanted to see what was in there. I was all like “nah”, but that made here even more determined to see what was in there.
At this point I was getting annoyed and figured if she saw the landfill I just created, she’d just leave. So I reveal it. She proceeds to point at different things and make comments about how easy they’d be to clean up.
What’s the first thing she says after inspecting my apartment?
“Want to fuck real quick?”
Yeah, can’t say I was remotely turned on at that point. I never heard from her again, and I was just wondering what the hell that was all about. If sex was what she was after, why try to make someone as uncomfortable as possible first?
36 comments
This is brilliant!𤣠You kept your cool surprisingly well throughput that ordeal. Think you’ll see each other again? Do you want to see her again?
She sounds annoying. At least you found out sooner than later.
You ever seen Futurama?
“Dirty boy! Dirty, dirty boy!”
Fuck, I would have fucked. She put it so eloquently. That was hot.
Zero respect for your boundaries. Who the hell did she think she was? Not cool.
Yeah this is hilarious but also SO weird. She was very intrusive & a pest. But also … “real quick”??? Real. Quick. Like … HOW quick, because I dated that guy & erm, no thanks. đ¤Łđ¤Ł
Want to fuck real quick? LMAO
That is very odd to put you through all that. Maybe after seeing the place she was like, “Nah with this guy” but might as well get some?? The fact that she had no boundaries and pushed it after you said no would have pissed me off too. People are crazy lol
Can we talk about boundaries? You had pre-determined boundaries here for yourself, and then you let her walk all over then! If you decide youâre not ready to invite someone to your home, then stick with it!! Setting and then relenting on boundaries is a red flag for both parties – red flag for the party relenting, and red flag for the party pushing the boundary. Stick to your choices, and donât let weirdos talk you into shit. That situation could have ended badly in so many ways.
I’m thinking she wanted to make sure you didn’t have a girlfriend. Checking to see if any women’s items/clothing/etc. wasn’t what you were actually hiding.
Also, you blew it. Should have fucked real quick.
Why is this SO funny to me đ
She sounds like a nut case.
You still have her number? Asking for a friend
Best way to clean your apartment in 5 min đ have a guest over
U dodged. That’s a good thing. She can’t get a hint.
Simple response since you already know she’s ghosting you “I am not comfortable having anyone over my house right now”
Still got her number? Asking for ~~a friend~~ an enemy
Donât believe what you hear. Sometimes women are more kinky and crave dirty sex than they will ever admit.. met a women last year on dating apps. Wanted me to come to her place, I did and we were making out for a while and but she said she wasnât ready for sex when I pulled out the condom.. but get this, she wanted me to cum on her face though. Few mins later I delivered.. I was disgusted with myself (and frankly her) afterwards⌠like damn, I just finally met her in person and rather than have sex with a condom, she would rather i finish on her face.. it still haunts me a year later..
Lesson: some women are just as disgusting if not more disgusting than men when it comes to sex. They just hide it well.
why do i think she sounds cool? LMAO
She sounds annoying af. And super demanding in a bad way She doesnât have a right to a tour of every closet at your place. But yes Iâve been in that situation where I legit had 2 minutes to shove shit in a closet, going fast as possible as if I were in a relay.
Maybe she was lit. I do and say weird shit all the time when Iâm buzzed. Who knows it could have been me đđźââď¸
I think you acting paranoid was making her suspicious you were hiding a secret gf
And then the more you got paranoid maybe she thought you were hiding a body
Fun fact a dated one guy and for two years he would not let me see his closet. I always joked about him keeping a girl or a dead body there as I heard scratching or like stuff falling over inside at night. It was a pretty roomy closet. Yeah no his apartment was clean (for a single guys apartment at least) on the outside. One day I figured he was cheating after I accidentally found a womanâs clothing piece and he insisted it was mine because it was my size and no girl friends were as small as me and anyway when he went out of the room for more âproofâ it was mine (it wasnât Iâm goth that thing was neon pink) I opened up the closet he told me to never go in.
Dude it was a rats nest. Like literally like the scene from ratatouille and I was the health inspector. I walked out and he was calling after me like it was my fault Iâm dumping him over a couple of rats (it was over 20) and like that cheating thing didnât even matter
So yeah basically I think she was inspecting for that. Youâre awkward behavior made her insistent she get to the bottom of your secrecy. And she probably wanted to fuck right after dinner plans but she needed to confirm she wasnât home wrecking first.
She could be messy herself and gets shit for it and wanted to make herself feel better by seeing your mess. Tell me you fucked and were eager enough to overcome her comments?! đ đ đ
She was just making sure the coast was clear
Lol this is so strange that Iâm considering her or someone else is coming back to rob you and she wanted a clear lay out of the house
Sounds like the trash took its self out this time.
Who demands to see every nook and cranny of someone’s home? That is just so weird!
Sounds like she has little respect for you, your boundaries, your home, your privacy. And very little self respect if she’s just there for a quick romp.
Call it a blessing you didn’t hear from her again.
Dude she wanted you to make a move. She suggested you go back to your place and when you didnât make the move so she tried to use a bizarre tactic to get you realise why she was there.
So you did or didnât take her up on the offer to F real quick then take the opportunity to turn it into a long while instead
Women can be creepy and give off bad vibes and energy too. I was just set up on a blind date this past Sunday and the woman came in with the worst vibe. I was so turned off and the energy felt like the opposite of chemistry. I felt so uncomfortable and just told her I wasnât feeling it and the vibe was off. She got baffled and I left. People are ridiculous now a days.
Dude. You failed the test.
You *had* your boundaries. You weren’t comfortable letting her do something, so you said no.
She wore you down. Women try to do this. I see it first hand every single day. And the men who don’t get worn down have the happiest relationships with their SO’s.
You then, not only let her pass your boundary, but literally open every door within that boundary.
That’s why you weren’t turned on. She didn’t respect you. But more importantly, you didn’t respect yourself.
And this is a deeper issue. Regardless of the date. You got your place messy. It’s not just a lack of discipline, but a lack of respect for yourself; it’s the only corner in this entire universe that you have actual control over, and you let it slip.
From the moment you said “I’m not expecting company, I need to clear up” she knew you don’t respect yourself. And if you don’t respect yourself, you can’t respect anyone else.. hence the “quick fuck” part.. reverse the roles; if a man asks a woman on a first date for that, imagine the backlash he’d get.
And yet, you failed again! You took the bait and fucked. That was your last saving grace, if you had’ve said no, because you want this to last, there *may* have been a second date…
People treat you how you treat yourself, you also subliminally tell people how you should be treated, without realising, all the time.
Pause dating for now. Learn to love yourself and understand that you do need to live life by your own standards. Respect yourself by re-setting your boundaries, and making sure *no one* will ever over step them.
Edit: you didn’t say you actually fucked, but let’s be honest, at that point, it wouldn’t have actually mattered. She knew what she was dealing with either way.
She came back to your flat, wanted to go to your living space, and you didn’t realise why she was there and make the move she was clearly intimating lol. Understand why you got annoyed because you were oblivious to her motives, but I was reading that whole thing thinking ‘well she’s obviously after sex’. Missed an open goal man
Power move. To have you on the defense
She was DTF but she wanted to “clear” your place first. She didn’t want to get jumped by additional partners without her consent.
I’m on her side. She accepted you for who you are and ignored your mess. How are you not even relieved?
This sounds horrible and if a man did this to a woman people would rage!
>She wanted to see inside every fucking closet, drawer, and cabinet.
She wanted to see if you have a girlfriend/wife. She was looking for any woman’s clothing or feminine products in the bathroom.