So to give context first, I’m a guy (18yo) from the middle east, but I’ve been living in turkey for six years~ now.
Me and my dad aren’t always on good terms and he (alongside with the whole family) are so strict about grades and college and all that. Last year I couldn’t get to college for some reasons I couldn’t control so naturally that caused a whole fuss in the family.
I was almost to leave turkey and stay back in my home country if it wasn’t for some desperate pleas to stay in turkey (I don’t want to go back for many, many reasons).
Now this year rolled and I was able to stay in turkey but I had to get grades and study two different curriculums at the same time. My family wants me to get into med and all that fuss but I detest med to the core and everything related to it, I just don’t like the job for myself I truly respect it but it’s not for me. The studying was hard but I managed for the first term, the second term came and I was barely able to study or do anything of such, most days would go blank and all of that.
I’m now in my exams for the first curriculum and I’m not doing well, and I’m starting to fear for what’s gonna happen after they see my grades that’s not satisfactory for them and will be further infuriated by saying I don’t want med. my mom used to be my supporter but after learning that I don’t want med a couple days ago and it took an even harder toll on me as we had a great bond and now it feels like it’s almost severed.
I’m doing badly in these uni entrance exams and it won’t be enough for even pharmacy or barely enough for cs (which is what I want) let alone med school.
My dad is hardly the person to talk and discuss stuff with so I’m really stuck in a hard position rn, how can I deal with this? I wanna get into cs but I’m afraid of dad’s response as he’s currently my only source of living and he controls the major aspects of my life. What can I do?
TL;DR! I’m doing bad in exams and I also don’t want to go to med school but my family are strict and I don’t know how to deal with them.
3 comments
Does your school offering counseling? You have to figure out a way to talk to your parents about what you want, and explain to them that you don’t want to ruin your life by going down this path.
I think you need a plan of independence if it is at all possible for you. I know being financially independent at 18 is very difficult and not always possible. Your family is not only stressing you, they are sabotaging your future. They are probably doing it with some degree of love and misguided good intentions, but they are still sabotaging your future. Putting a lot of work into a field you dislike is not going to be likely to go well for you. CS is a fine path, and if you are actually suited to it and want it, then you will likely be far more successful overall if you follow that path. So, you need to try to figure out if there are ways to get to do so despite your family issues. And your family issues may lessen in time anyway, if they see your choices working out for you. But even if they don’t, your future is more important than your family’s approval.
Parent that cant be negotiated. Only one solution for you my man. Make your own bread and at the same time show them that you can make it! I propose for you to find a flexible part time job that you can manage with part time studies. The difference is this time, know yourself, find your true passion and pick your field of study that you always wanted. It is hard, but a man gotta do what man gotta do.. Failure? failure is a small obstacle to obtaining your dreams. Keep on doing, keep on dreaming. I also live in a majority muslim country in south east asia. I understand you, and your family structure..