I’m M29 stonewalled by my partnersince 1,5 years. We are together since 10 years. It is horrible because my partner do this regullary every second week for 2-5 days. I’m air in my own apartement. Dont want to eat with me or something else is only watching television.
Is seperation in this situation the only one solution?
5 comments
Depends, have you set boundaries for her behavior towards you? Why are you allowing her to stonewall you, why is she permitted this behavior by you? You have the responsibility as to what you will allow the another person to do to you.
This sounds like an underlying.. anything. It’s normal to sometimes need some space. I guess everyone has those days where he/she/they needs just sweet silence or just some hours of nobody talking (I’m an SLP and about 2 or 3 times a month I say to my partner I’ve run out of words to hear and speak and just want so peacefully sit in silence and knit).
If I were you’d I’d look towards therapy (rule out depression on your partners side) or maybe you really have different social needs. Have you looked into councelling? Because some day or the other sounds pretty normal, but for days… sounds like an underlying issue tbh.
Separation doesn’t work, but what does work is working through the deeper issues at hand. You two need counseling and since you know about stonewalling I assume you know about the 4 horsemen then, if not google it (gottman 4 horsemen).
Maybe she needs individual therapy.
Check out u/ebbie45. She’s a counselor who’s posted some great information. Good luck.
Could it help to talk alone to a therapyst first if he did t want to go with me?