This is a tough one for me because I think there is a fine line between trying to save yourself from getting hurt and being disrespectful. I’ve been told that even after a great first date you should stay active on tinder just to keep your options open and save yourself from potential disappointment. I agree with this but I also think it can give the impression that you aren’t interested if they notice you’ve been active on dating apps. I know that up until an exclusivity conversation happens you shouldn’t expect someone to be exclusive with you but I also think there is a build up to that conversation and I wouldn’t expect someone who is truly interested to be playing the field all the way leading up to asking to be exclusive. So what do you all think? What is an appropriate amount of dates to shy away from tinder if you’re interested but also not trying to set yourself up for a disappointment.
11 comments
Rule of thumb is 10 dates or 3 hookups whichever comes first.
It’s up to you. You already hit it with the exclusivity conversation. IDC if we’ve been on 30 dates, gone on a trip, and slept together 100 times. I’m not stopping dating other people without a specific conversation about being exclusive.
There’s no specific number. Continue to talk to and date others until you meet someone who leaves you uninterested in anyone else. Once this happens, you’ll naturally fall off from checking Tinder and eventually have the conversation of exclusivity. I always felt if I’m truly interested in someone, I’m not even going think of Tinder.
The last time I personally dated, I stopped using the apps the second it was clear there was a second date coming. But that was because the chemistry was so overwhelming.
> I know that up until an exclusivity conversation happens you shouldn’t expect someone to be exclusive with you but I also think there is a build up to that conversation and I wouldn’t expect someone who is truly interested to be playing the field all the way leading up to asking to be exclusive.
I don’t think this is a reasonable assumption. Many of us don’t want sexual exclusivity at any point of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t genuinely interested in someone or not wanting to develop and deepen that relationship.
So to answer your question, I only do Tinder a maximum of two weeks at a time, but whether I’m using Tinder or not has nothing to do with the people I’m seeing except in that if I’m already busy dating, I’m less likely to seek out other connections.
0, you shouldn’t use tinder in the first place.
Until you both agree to be exclusive
It’s really up to you. You can date as many ppl you want before having the exclusive talk. Although it’s good to communicate about it with the other person involved, so you both can be aware and comfortable with the situation.
When you know you like someone and don’t want to date other people?
*I* do what *I* want. I don’t give a shit what someone else is doing. If I am just texting/calling someone (no date yet), I am still on dating apps. If I go out with you, and I like you, I stop going on. I can’t keep up with seeing someone and talking to others.
I have wondered that myself. I have somehow ended up talking to two different people. I like them both, but I think I like one a little better. I have found it hard to keep up with two conversations and was thinking maybe I should just gently end things with the one I like less but a lot of people say to keep your options open. It would be so much easier if there was a cut off time to know when to just narrow it down to one person.