So I’m in my late 30s, I have a stable job and have my life in order. When I was younger I struggled a lot with my relationship with women. My mom was a staunch feminist and shamed me a lot for my male sexuality and it also went on in school.
I struggled also with finances and education which made me unattractive to the women around me at that age.
I did have sex a couple of times when I was 25 but that was then. After this there has been nothing.
I ended up buying a sex doll which I have see as my girlfriend for a long time. It kept me from feeling like a total failure and helped with suicidal thoughts. Being lonely and living without touch for such a long time was very painful.
I’m started to get matches after Covid for some reason where I had no attention before. I don’t know why but I’m a bit surprised that it’s happening now.
The problem is now that I can’t relate to any women I meet especially not sexually. I also have major trust issues with women, as the way they instructed me to be (ideal feminist man) was not attractive to them. I am very resentful.
I have done about 6 years of therapy so I have my thoughts sorted out.
I would like to have a child and experience intimacy etc, but it’s difficult. I don’t know how to approach this. I’m ok when I’m with my doll but when im around women my head is filled with all that self deprecating thoughts women have thought me to think. I’m very confused about this.
Edit. Maybe someone wants to review my dating profile?
6 comments
Maybe you can start with baby steps in the dating world? Set up a date and just see how that makes you feel. Then keep adding on little goals for yourself. Removing thoughts in our head is a tough one. Practice positive self talk when they come up or try focusing on something else. Easier said than done…hugs!
You can post your profile if you’d like, but its only 1 part of the equation. How you text with women and interact in person are other parts of the equation.
Totally understand, it can be extremely terrifying. I would suggest to go to things you’re interested in (concerts, dance classes, rock climbing), usually people there have the same interest as you and it’ll be much easier than dating apps. A natural conversation usually brings up more discussion.
Hey, as I always say, fake it till you make it!
Women are people.
Women are humans.
We are not a different species.
We aren’t special.
I would practice mannerisms and things to say when women flirt with you — kinda like a script.
And remember that women are not different and we want to be treated like human beings.
6 years of therapy and they didn’t suggest getting rid of the doll?
Baby steps! Just go into dating and don’t stress. Happy to review your profile