Some advice needed – thanks to others who already helped, just making sure!

hey all,

I think the more i write/read about this, the clearer things get. Just looking for some outside eyes on this to see if im in the wrong and what to do. Check out my posts from last year for more context

Issue:

the gf and i have been on/off for 7 years. Latest stretch is since February (its long distance, so we spent maybe a month total together when she came to visit). We kept talking about her moving back where i am (her son lives here in town with his dad, so it made more sense to come this direction). this is the month that we have to either make the decision for her to move here, or stay in limbo for another year. Friday we had a major argument because she had a medical screening appointment (potentially cancer, results in a week or so) that she needed me to be there to support her (across the country), but my dad was recently also diagnosed with cancer and i had to take him to his therapy appointments here. So i didnt go to help her, and i offered to help remote with situating mover quotes from here, but she expects me to be there to help her get everything situated ahead of the move. Basically she says that i never pick her (i have picked my family in some cases i guess, but in my opinion they needed me more than she needed me and it almost felt like it was just a test from her which i can never pass).

Question:

I do love her and planned on getting engaged this summer (for 2nd time), but she thinks i dont know what love is because i can never love her in the same way im loving my family and helping them. What do i do? This is causing me crazy anxiety and im already seeing a therapist that gives me the generic crap that doesnt help lol (therapist cant tell me what to do, so im asking reddit for suggestions). Every time we walk away, I try to move on but she comes back in the picture, and i miss her, and try again for the same crap result