What significant situation made you rethink your relationship based on your partner’s response?

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1. When I was in high school in 2007, I was at my then-girlfriend’s older brother’s high school graduation. A teacher walked up on the stage who got booed because she was wearing some pride T shirt. My girlfriend said something like ‘ I hate every last one of those f*****s’ so I made some joke trying to lighten the mood and change the subject (I cant remember exactly what the joke was, its been 15 years) and she fucking Smacked me. Like Hard. Super embarassing. Ended up leaving about 5 minutes later, broke up with her, and the rest is history. Typing it later in time makes me remember how odd it was to see someone act like Such a Piece of shit. It sounds like something out of a movie.

2. [deleted]

3. We were going to a birthday party with the intention of stopping by and getting a bottle of booze for the host, I’d unintentionally left my wallet at home and asked my girlfriend if I could borrow something like $40 until we got home (for context, we were both doing quite well, $40 was not “eat or pay bills” money) and she said she didn’t have it on her. I said no problem we can swing by an ATM or use your card and she straight up refused.

   Now to be clear: She was under no obligation to loan me any money, that’s her right to do or not do but the factors at play were 1) it was OUR friend, she was just used to me paying for everything. 2) the way she refused was pretty shitty and I ended up feeling like a jerk for even asking. 3) I later discovered the reason she reacted so poorly was because she didn’t know how to use an ATM and was petrified of trying.

   After I got over feeling like a worm I got to thinking about it and 1) I didn’t have a partner, I started realizing I did 95% of everything in our relationship from planning, to cooking, to cleaning, to paying…I had grown up child, not a girlfriend. 2) the fact that she was unable to not be a jerk about how she said no was pretty telling, especially since I don’t recall ever making a fuss about money when I paid (which was most of the time…including occasionally just buying her groceries while we were shopping together) 3) the utter lack of basic adult skills paired with the refusal to confront something that was scary (to her) told me a lot about her ability to grow as a human.

   Its so silly, $40 itself isn’t a big deal, it was the rest of the realizations which came with it.

4. My ex-fiancé had some pretty bad anxiety issues, but was high functioning. I worked really hard in that relationship to accommodate them, encourage her and create space for her voice. Her symptoms got worse and worse as the wedding day drew nearer, until I finally dragged it out of her that she was having serious doubts about getting married. She wasn’t going to say anything, and would have gone through with it anyway.

   It kind of broke something in me. It’s the sort of thing that I could have handled with understanding, if only she had been honest and told me sooner. We could have postponed the wedding, seen a counselor. But it was that lack of trust in hiding it from me, and her willingness to go through with the wedding without saying anything, that completely destroyed my trust in her.

5. My ex and I had a bit of a conflict early on. I had hired an office assistant, and she started to get jealous, suggesting I was going to cheat on her with the new hire.

   I got really paranoid about her when she wasn’t around, thinking that she was going to be following me to try and catch me doing something. I once thought I saw her car following me and later I called her out on it. I was mistaken, her alibi was solid.

   I apologized, and said I was out of line. She said she was hurt by the accusation of spying on me, and I listened to her and we resolved that part. Then I said that I was really hurt that she suggested I was going to cheat with the new hire…

   She directed the conversation to her feelings about me working with another woman… the conversation then went to other things and my feelings were never addressed. Later she told me I’m probably using her as a practice girlfriend.

   From that moment on I couldn’t remember ever feeling anything for her. I held on for a few months trying to find the feelings that I once had, but they were gone. They are still gone and will never come back.

6. Probably the 3rd time she tried to poison me.

7. I saw a text from my girlfriend’s ex making a sexual joke about her, obviously i got super mad and jealous but asked her about it and she laughed and said “it was funny”. Didn’t trust her from that moment.