How did you become independent from your parents?

13 comments

1. I found a job, found a roommate, and then we found an apartment together.

2. Graduate. Get a job. Get an apartment. Buy your own car. Sign up for your own utilities, including cell phone plan and car insurance.

3. Enlisted in the army

4. I moved out.

   Talk to them about why you want to defer in a constructive way. Having a deadline looming sucks. Pushing it back doesnt help, especially if (like lost if people) the bulk of prep will still be last minute.

   Show them you own your schedule and what’s eating up your time and they will advise. If its simply because you dont feel ready or feel you could be better prepared, then suck it up. That’s deadlines in real life – you sometimes just have to go. You might not be the best you can be but often it’s good enough to get you to the next step. If you fail, retake or move on

5. The best gift you can return is to move out and take control of your own life. Don’t be a stranger just handle your business and start your life.

6. Why can’t you do it on their time frame? Is it unrealistic or do you not want to work that hard? If they are paying the bills for your school and where you live currently, they kind of have you by the balls.

7. They divorced, Dad took off, Mom lost the house, I needed insurance. You grow up a little quicker when that happens. Got a horrible, cheap, ant infested apartment. 2 jobs and progressively it got better

8. I moved out and stopped talking to them but that’s because they were continuously abusive and treated me terribly.

   With my own kids, who are in high school and college, my wife is very concerned about everything and wants my daughter to study now for a test she’s taking more than two months from now. I’ve explained to my daughter that there are two things she should do, take fifteen minutes and day and study so when the test time approaches she’ll just need to review things, secondly, don’t immediately complain and resist and explain things to your mother, just agree to study, do your fifteen minutes, then go about your business.

   My son has a project he’s got to finish over the summer, it’s the same thing. Read a couple of pages and make some notes. Then put it all together before school starts up and write your report.

   It’s not that your parents want to make you miserable, it’s likely that they’re concerned about your future and don’t think that you have the same level of concern that they do. If you show them that you are concerned and you’re on top of things they’ll probably relax somewhat and won’t make it seem like the sky is falling.

9. Graduated at a uni from another city, got a job at that city and never looked back. I still love and am close to my parents but not lived with them in over a decade now

10. How old are you? If you’re legally an adult in your country just move the exam.

11. By learning to say no to them, and being willing to deal with the consequences.

    I don’t know if you grew up in an Asian family. I did. And if it’s one thing I’ve learned, is that no one owes their parents anything, really. We didn’t choose to be born into this world. They did. So they take care of us as best they can because they wanted to. We were never asked permission beforehand.

    I believe that we owe our own children everything, not the other way around. Yes, it’s more nuanced than that. My parents did a good job raising me in some areas, terrible in others, and so I do have some desire to look after them. But with limits.

12. Lol I’m 29 and still struggle with this, but my parents have a tough time accepting I have my own life.

    Best of luck, your parents are new to your independence so it’s going to be a learning curve for them throughout your twenties.

13. They died, although with 3 years difference.