I can’t relax. I am always on edge. Always worrying. Too much to do, not enough time. Life is passing me by. Its either work shit, kid shit, ex-wife shit, financial shit…etc. etc. I can’t sleep at night because my mind is like a Star Wars crawl of all the shit I need to get done. When I try and do something I like–playing bass, cycling, etc…. I get stressed because I am not as good/fast as I want to be; have regressed, etc. I can never just enjoy a bike ride anymore. I have to keep track of stats, distance, time, and get mad if I don’t “beat” myself and improve. I play my bass guitar and it will turn into an hour session of just pounding shit out to get it right.
If I go camping with the kids, the whole trip is stressful, planning, packing, unpacking, finding shit for them to do. They go to bed and I sit and look at the lake and can’t appreciate its beauty because I feel guilty for taking time off and stress about all the shit to do when I get back.
So, how do you relax–not what do you do to relax. But physically, how can I make myself actually relax, stop worrying, and enjoy life?
13 comments
Give less of a fuck, maybe dump the kids at the Grand parents and you and your s/o can just get drunk and go fishing sit in a hammock etc
I tend to watch something mindless or low thought process on TV.
However I also exercise. The exercise itself (any) is just enough focus to quiet a busy mind. It’s also something you can easily control and tick off and done / complete. When you have things on your plate that arent quick wins or depend on others, exercise is one thing, 100% in your control.
Me, I go for a run. I try to do it every day but have a soft target of 5x a week.
Have you tried weed? I’m not saying get super high… just enough to feel relaxed. It’s been a game changer for me.
Life is too damn short, learn to enjoy it. Easy to say, hard to do… it’s a change in mindset really.
You have to learn to understand that you can only do what you can do AND if you don’t take care of your personal needs (R&R) you won’t be able to do the other things you need to.
Forgot to add….
What I did to change my mindset years ago is when those thoughts of “OH SHIT, I HAVE 100 THINGS TO DO AND I BET I FUCKED UP THE OTHER 100 THINGS I DID”… I would stop myself and ask “does me stressing about any of that change any of that?”
You have to get off the treadmill you’ve been conditioned to run on. Until you pull the cord and quit work, let the kids be adults ( mine are all in their twenties) and live life on my terms. Money is likely better than you realize and you can decide to do something else with your life. Took me two years to unwind.
It sounds to me like you need to get into therapy, what’s going on with you is way more than just not being able to relax, it sounds like a generalized anxiety disorder.
Man, it sounds like you’re a chronic worrier. You worry when shit is going too good. I’m no expert, but you might want to try therapy and see if they can help you out.
You are trying to rush off in to the future……..take the time just to enjoy today. Which included some time for your self
You know why I’m going to be relaxed today? Because I am in charge. I control whether or not I will feel relaxed, no one else can make me feel uptight, no event or outside influence can make me feel powerless to be relaxed. I have the power to relax all on my own, I don’t need anything external to make me relaxed, I choose to be relaxed and I am relaxed.
You don’t choose to be relaxed. You have full control of yourself but choose to be powerless and influenced by every external negative thing going on in your life. Maybe it’s because you don’t believe you are the creator of your own life, but you are. You have created an uptight life, now you need to create a relaxed life and make it a habit to be relaxed because your current habit is to be uptight.
Not to be a dick, but man what a ridiculous mindset. Life is too meaningless to be taking it so seriously 100% of the time…maybe try re-wiring your brain by getting into some Buddhist philosophy, or maybe just philosophy in general 🤷
Go fishing at a river or lake, not a pond. Go by yourself. Get there a few minutes before sunrise. Bring a chair. Cast your bait in and put the rod in a rod holder. Sit down and watch the sunrise. Close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your eyelids while you listen to the water.
Bike riding is my stress relief but I never time myself. I choose a scenic route and just enjoy the ride.
You should start to have no expectations when doing or planning something imo. Just go for it and see where it goes.
no planning every second of the day and be frustrated with yourself that you didnt get the list done.
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same with the bike ride, IF you get on the bike you HAVE to get a better time than last.
Or, i go ride my bike and any time is better than staying on the couch watching indoctrination television.
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how about let those kids find something to do for themselves.