I’m casually dating, but need to cut back on the number of guys I’m currently seeing. I don’t have enough time and it’s stressing me out. However, I still really like them all and honestly want to stay friends. Is that possible?
I’ve made it clear from the start that I’m not looking for anything serious, but I’m not sure how to word a “romantic breakup” when I don’t really have a reason, other than lack of time. These are guys I’ve been on 3-5 dates with.
EDIT: Thanks for the responses! This was genuinely the perspective and type of feedback I was looking for. Just to be clear, the guys know I’m dating and being intimate with others. I’m not looking for a LTR; the idea was to date for fun and be as honest about that as possible. But in my head, “casual dating” seemed easier than the reality of it when there’s not an end goal of a relationship.
18 comments
You can’t. Its up to them, but don’t be surprised when none of them wants the same.
This is a fundamentally self-serving goal.
You want the attention and validation but no longer want to treat them as romantic prospects.
Let them go.
I’m sure you already have enough existing friends if you’re short on time.
FYI you don’t want a friends group made up of past lovers anyway, it will be a red flag to future men.
If you were genuinely on the same page from the beginning, just talk to them and let them know. They should be cool with it.
Unfortunately some may have started thinking things would get more serious and they lost sight of the casualness.
You can’t control how anyone else will feel, but do your best to be kind and deeply respectful for them. And just remember to say very CLEARLY what you want; guys are dumb sometimes. (Or at least I am. 😏)
Idk, why dont you invite them all over and ask them
You don’t. Men can’t turn this off, and the attempt to do so will break him, and ruin the friendship
Just tell them all you’re sleeping around… any self respecting guy would cut it off immediately.
Most of them wont be interested. They’ll find someone to go rock climbing and kayaking that also has sex with them. And she wont want you around
Your casually dating people none of these are people who owe you shit. You don’t owe them shit. You’re essentially just having multiple flings. The guys will live, if you don’t got time maybe try to maintain a FWB with a couple and let the test go. So long of course as they know you are sleeping with other people and are regularly getting std tests.
What are you dating for? Friends or a LTR? If you are dating for friends, you are doing it wrong and it’s going fuck up your dating life later on.
If you want a LTR, you should be dating with intention.
Just state it.
Don’t look for a manipulative way to get them to agree to a relationship that is not what they want.
Yea had a girl try to do this. Sry but this on u for taking on so many guys. Best to let them know they didnt make the cut. Nothing like being 5th string
This only happens over time or if circumstances dictate you must be civil, I.e. you have kids together. As I doubt this is the case here, you have to accept that they likely won’t want to.
LOL “signed every woman in 2022”
Do you know how inconsiderate and selfish this is?? Why not just choose one guy who you like the most and date him?? And then tell the rest that you no longer want to see them? Being just friends is impossible especially if you dated…what happens if you meet someone you actually like? You think they’re going to be cool with you having a bunch of male friends?
Anyway it sounds to me like what you want is all the perks of having a boyfriend without any of the responsibility and you don’t want to reciprocate the affection…more or less you want to take without giving anything in return, that’s not friendship, that’s self serving…I’m not trying to be dick but it’s a bit narcissistic
You can’t. Opening this up to possible romance will mean that someone on some level will always think “but this could become more in due time” or “they were interested then, maybe in the future when I am ready they might still be available” which basically makes efforts in other potential partnerships seem less necessary because there is always a perceived plan B.
Why not just pick your most favorite and talk to him realistically….I’m realizing I don’t have a ton of time to date, but I do want to continue seeing you when able. Are you OK with that?
The other 4 guys (or however many others there are) just end it by saying you just don’t have the time for any kind of dating right now. Good luck.
Just cut it to one and make it clear of your expectations. Have the talk with this top one first and if he isn’t OK with it for some reason then end it with him and do the same talk with #2.
NO!!
They will have feelings for you. Even when your with someone. Its just going to cause more issues down the track.
Just let them know about all the others, the ones that really want to be your friend will stay
/facepalm