Last night my husband (41m) was trying to finish the act with the me (43f) for at least 30 minutes. He finally stopped and said “take 5” as he was getting worn out. I said “no take 5-I’m tired”. I could tell he had masturbated yesterday even though we had sex that morning. I told him I’m not trying to be mean but I think you’ve gotten used to your toys and my jank ain’t cutting it anymore. He said we also had sex this morning and laid there silently. He’s got this one sleeve toy that has this twist texture inside it. I’ve noticed he’s started twisting my hips around when we’re on our sides and he’s behind me. And all I can think is he’s trying to twist me like the damn toy. So then last night I get woken up by him fricking using his toys in the bed. 🤯 I just laid there and didn’t say anything. He thought I was asleep. I swear it seemed like he was at it for like 2 hours. I still don’t think he finished. Anyway-I think he knows I’m right about the toys. But he probably won’t admit it. I have a hard time trusting him due to him cheating with escorts in the past. (I learned the truth 4.5 years after it happened and we’ve (I’ve) done our (my) best to move on.) Now at least I know he’s taking care of himself at home. But it just makes me feel bad/used when he can’t finish with me. Not sure what I’m looking for. Just saying it’s not a good feeling when you feel like your husband is constantly trying to get off. We have sex 5-7 times a week. That’s always been the case the 9 years we’ve been together.
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I gave someone on Reddit advice on some vibrators (she was asking) and she asked if I worried that it would make it hard for my wife to get pleasure from me. My answer was no, because we only incorporate them once or twice a week. We have sex 5 times a week on average. I told her that if it did become a problem a month or two without them would likely return sensitivity so I’m not that worried.
It sounds like your husband has what I’ve heard people describe as death grip syndrome. When the stronger stimulation of masturbation deadens sensitivity. He needs a reset. That would be weeks or even a few months of only getting off from vaginal sex, maybe oral. Honestly, it won’t be easy for him by the sound of it, but I don’t think he has any choice if he want’s to be able to make sex fun again.