this is really embarrassing so please dont make fun of me
im 23f and autistic. im a virgin in every way, ive never even masturbated. i have real problems with something called ‘interoception’ which is the bodies ability to tell what its feeling to the brain. so i cant tell im thirsty or hungry until i get a headache or start shaking basically.
you can probably see where im going with this. i dont know what arousal feels like so i dont know how to “find” it if that makes sense. occasionally i’ll find myself slick if theres a smut scene in something im reading, so i clearly am getting aroused i just dont know how to feel it. sometimes i feel like i need to pee but that might be wires getting confused.
6 comments
Arousal feels like there’s a pressure building up in your genitals and you need to stimulate yourself to release it. That’s the best way I can describe it…
This is SO fascinating. Our minds and bodies and the way they interact (or sometimes don’t) are just endlessly and wonderfully interesting. I REALLY wish I was a woman so that I could be of more help though.
I had two immediate thoughts. The first is that that feeling of “needing to pee” *can* be the initial stages of a fairly significant orgasm for some women. That said, sometimes it can also mean that you just need to pee.
The other thought I had was in the spirit of “for science,” but it’s probably unwise in that the potential for abuse seems really high. The thought was, though, that the way we get better at things is through practice. If you want to learn to identify what arousal physically feels like, then you need someone to arouse you. The possibility that there might be someone in your life that you could trust and ask to do this for you *for educational purposes only* seems really far fetched though and, again, rife with the potential for someone to try to take it too far or in directions that aren’t necessarily in YOUR best interest. Perhaps this is a case that makes an argument for professional sex workers? Or maybe this is something that a sex therapist might be able to legitimately (and legally) administer?
I think “hands-on” experience would be the best teacher here, but alternatively continually exposing yourself to arousing materials solo might work if you are properly studious – but it’s hard to put myself in your head to know if just “concentrating” on your body (or trying to) could ever bridge the disconnect that you experience.
Whatever happens, I truly wish you the best of luck.
This is interesting! I think arousal feels different to everyone. Being wet is a good indicator though. I’m also a woman so I’m curious if you’ve tried touching yourself at all? If so, what did you try and did you like it? In terms of a smut scene, where does your brain go after you’ve read it and you’re wet? If you stop reading there and think about what more could have happened that might give you something to touch yourself to?
Different people might notice different things their bodies are doing upon arousal. Physically, a penis or clitoris may begin to engorge or stiffen. For guys it’s very noticeable as it strains against our underwear or pants. Some women may have similar reactions if they have a larger clitoris. Regardless, you may notice increased physical tension in your groin area, maybe even a puffiness. Some women can feel a sort of cavernous emptiness or butterflies as arousal persists. Definitely the lubrication like mentioned for women. Even guys can leak precum as our arousal persists. Your body may get flushed, your nipples may get stiffer, you may feel hotter, your breathing may get deeper, you may even feel anxious or jittery, etc.
It’s interesting, but even if many things happen during arousal, we don’t always pay attention to them, so don’t feel embarrassed. Male or female, our bodies do a lot of things we aren’t always super aware of.
You sound like you are on the right track of exploring this by reading erotica type content.
As for crossed wires, maybe your mind has not figured out the difference in feeling from having to pee and getting aroused and wet down there.
If you are planning. To explore more I would recommend to go pee first, then get a good book or online content to read and see how you feel. If you feel ok with it maybe even start touching yourself. Basically explore.
You shouldn’t be embarrassed about this at all. I had the same question when I was younger, because there were times I couldn’t tell if I was aroused or if it was something else. Over time I just started to understand my body more.
It can definitely feel a bit like needing to pee, or just an internal pressure you want to release. I also get tingly feelings throughout the rest of my body sometimes, and my whole vulva area gets a lot more sensitive. But it’s different for different people, and the only way to sort out exactly how it feels for you is through experience.