Last night (2am) my bf(22m) and I(22f) had sex which he had first initiated. He had finished first and I noticed after cleaning himself up he seemed a little reluctant to help me finish which I noticed. He asked me do you wanna finish which i said yes to and he had asked if i wanted some help which i said yeah i would appreciate it. I was already turned off a bit and a bit sad bc it didnt seem like he wanted to help me anymore. Which i talked to him about and i said i wasnt happy. He proceeded to tell me honestly im just a little lazy, but he was still willing to help me out. I started crying bc i had felt used. This morning i bring it up again and he still thinks that what had happened wasnt wrong. He said that he will let me know a head of time if he doesn’t feel like helping me. He said that sometimes while we are having sex i should be helping myself. He feels that it is a bit unfair cause when we have sex sometimes in just laying down and then when i dont finish i expect him to help me and sometimes he doesnt want to do that.

TLDR: my bf sometimes doesnt want to help me finish after sex

32 comments

  1. Have you considered using toys during sex? Either way, you finishing should be as important to him as him finishing is. What a douche canoe.

  3. Get him to get you off first, willing to be that laziness disappears real quick.

  5. It seems like someone needs to teach him how this works. If the dude tends to finish fast, he needs to put in the extra effort. It’s a pretty fundamental expectation, and if he’s considerate he’ll be like “Yeah, that makes sense.”

    Maybe foreplay before PIV is best for you guys, or maybe after, I don’t know. Most women seem to do better with before, though, hence the name.

  6. So basically you’re just his fleshlight? How about you get him to make you cum before he penetrates? Then you both get satisfaction.

    If he disagrees then he’s just a selfish sexually immature boy.

  7. He sounds like the type of guy who will be writing a post in a few months about how his girlfriend isn’t as interested in sex as she used to be. I agree with the poster who said get him to help you finish first.

  10. That’s very selfish. There are times that aren’t perfect but he not only should take care of you he should want to take care of you.

    He is like now I’m done I can do you a favor if I really have to.

    You need to think about how he is unemotionally and make a judgement about what he is really bringing to the table.

  11. What a rude guy.. I get it that people are sometimes too tired to do all the heavy lifting, so riding him or helping yourself with toys is the best solution in those situations. But the issue with your boyfriend is that he even asks ”do you want me to help you?”. He should be willing to help you without asking this question in the first place, since you’re his girlfriend, not a sex doll.

    Next time you should use toys, make yourself climax & then get off of him. Say you’re too lazy to help him out. Lets see how he’ll like that.

  12. Ex boyfriend. Don’t have sex with a man who doesn’t care if you get off.

  14. Wow, your boyfriend fucking sucks. So are you going to dump his ass or are you going to be okay with the fact that he’s a selfish lover?

  17. Okay, the burning question is, does he go down on you? If so, when?

    I’m going to get a bit personal I hope you don’t mind. If I had to guess, I’d say you probably go down on him but he doesn’t you. Try this, go down on him and then it’s your turn, he should work at it until you come. Not only will you be in a better frame of mind for intercourse but he’ll have somewhat calmed down and should last longer. If he gets in you right after oral, he will come too fast.

    Play to his ego, tell him that only one percent of men get their women off (it’s probably higher but not much) and that with a little work he could be a great lover. Show him what you need, don’t assume he knows what to do. Great lovers aren’t born, they’re created. Give him books to read, videos to watch and while this is happening, up your game too, expand what you do together. Sex at its best is when both partners are working to give the other pleasure, not their own

  18. It seems as though you guys may not be sexually compatible, if this has been prolonged throughout the relationship especially. I’ve taken mental note in relationships if my partner takes focus on my satisfaction as well as their own.
    I won’t immediately suggest to break up, but strongly consider your enjoyment in what is, to some, an important part of a relationship. When you are both in a fine mood to talk, sit down and discuss how important it is to you for both parties to be pleasured while being intimate. It could help for him to understand the importance, or it will show you if you guys may not be compatible in that way.

  20. If you’re openly telling him about the issue and he still dismisses your satisfaction as though it’s a chore throw him in the bin.

  21. You did not pick a fucking winner here, OP (pun fully intended.) Honestly, this is a come-to-Jesus talk that needs to happen.

    Sit down and _have him acknowledge_ clearly and unequivocally how shitty and panty de-humidifying his behavior was. You don’t need a genuine, contrite conversion right now. You just need him to acknowledge outloud how shitty his behavior was (which it was indeed!) Then let him know that you _will_ expect better from him moving forward

    Let him mull over why it’s shitty. If he’s not a shit partner, he will come to the right conclusion. If he doesn’t, well, I guess that’s an answer all of its own.

    Best of luck, OP.

  22. Tell him that there will be no more sex unless it is sex where you finish first.

    Stick with it.

    See what happens.

  23. Sounds like……. 80% of guys I meet.

    Roll in the downvotes “not every guy is like that” (so I have to ask for it?, communicate you should maybe try to make me cum before or after you do— not just stop immediately after juice squirts out of your dick and put your pants back on, or whip out all the toys bc you don’t wanna do any work or spend time on me).

  25. These are all the posts on the subs these days… dudes so reluctant to get girls off they should go sleep with dudes

  27. Honestly, just don’t have sex with him. Get a vibrator and help yourself. He will be alright😂👌🏻

  28. You should pretend to finish early next time and then tell him to stop before he’s done, then just take a shower and say goodnight.

  31. Get a new boyfriend who’ll appreciate your body and soul SMH. He’s treating sex as a transaction when it should be an activity you both enjoy together. It’s not fair to you.

  32. Don’t let him finish. Tell him your lazy and maybe you’ll get some inspiration after you finish.
    Or the easier route is to dump the selfish ahole.

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