I’m a flight attendant. I met a guy on the plane and he waited for the entire plane to disembark before giving me his business card. I waited 3 weeks for him to get back in town to see him.
On our first date i was on time. On our second I just came in from a flight and fell asleep so I was about half an hour late. I usually can’t text him because my phone is on airplane mode and I’m working. On our third date I was running late because I just came in from a 3 day trip and didn’t have any clothes. I was washing clothes because I dont have any where I’m currently living (I’m a commuter) and I was too embarrassed to mention this to him. I was also driving to the date and didn’t have my phone on me while driving so didn’t answer his calls or text. He was so angry at me and I mentioned if he didn’t want to meet up and his response was “that’s fine, thank you for your time” and hung up. I tried calling him again and he didn’t pick up. In the end I would have been 30 minutes late but did text him when I left to let him know I was on my way.
Am I the asshole? I didn’t want to mention my clothes being ready and me trying to get clothes ready for our date( since I was going to stay the night and felt it was so embarrassing to mention that) until we met up. I want to text him one last time to give it another shot because I think it’s worth a try, our last date we both mentioned what we wanted in our life and relationships and I’ve always texted him when I had time. Also a little background, he’s in his 30s and a CEO of a company he built from the ground up so he is very stringent on time so I understand why he is hurt and feels disrespected. Also, he comes from a cultural background that is very machismo. I want to text him one last time before giving up but wondering, was I out of line? I was going to tell him everything about how I felt about him and us when we met up but felt like I didn’t even have a chance. Definitely bummed because I felt like there was something there and at least let him know how I feel. I always feel like if it’s worth it to give it one last shot.
2 comments
I see relationships or the possibility of a relationship as self-selecting, i.e. if it does not work out there is a good reason why.
NTA since your communication and schedule is dictated by your job.
Did you at any point prior to these tardies explain to him the likelihood that you will be running late often due to x, y, z?
And tell him if you foresee such situations, you may still be unable to give ample notice? Had you ever really explained your hectic lifestyle and what it means to live out of a suitcase?
Seems like he felt you’re just managing your time poorly. He may not understand how your schedule and lifestyle requires a little different adjustments than the usual.
And perhaps you should have made efforts to schedule differently, idk.
If you did give him notice of your schedule, then I’d consider this a done deal and forget him. If you didn’t, he may or may not be receptive of this info now, as it may seem like you’re making excuses. But you can always try, there’s no harm in that.