I love my boyfriend but I also have feelings for my best friend?
hey guys i’m a little new here so forgive me if i make some mistakes. so i’m currently in a relationship with a man. we’ve been together for going on two years now and we’ve always had a very healthy relationship. he’s always been my best friend and we’ve had GREAT communication. we spend most of our time together and we basically live together (he sleeps at my place 90% of the time). let me preface this by saying that i’m bisexual and about 90% into women but unfortunately i live in the south so the ‘selection’ isn’t very good and for the most part i’ve only been with men.
a few months ago i started a new job and coincidentally started working with a girl i went to school with years ago but just hadn’t been in contact with for a long time. we became friends again and quickly became very close. we’ve been best friends now for going on 4 months.
around the time that i started the new job i started thinking about women a lot more. i also started feeling suffocated in my relationship, because we were together CONSTANTLY. i felt like there was something missing from my life. and that i couldn’t get the connection i needed with him. that i could only get it with another girl. i was honest with him about this, but i didn’t make any decisions and i just told him i’d continue to think about it and i’d let him know.
i developed strong feelings for my best friend. we always spoke about how we both loved women and wanted to be with one. she sounded perfect for me. i couldn’t get her out of my head. my feelings for my boyfriend faded. i was SURE she felt the same way. so eventually i broke things off with him and admitted my feelings to her. she was shocked and didn’t admit she liked me back so i panicked and i got back together with him immediately. literally the same fucking day.
now, him and i worked everything out. that was about a month ago. my feelings for him came back. we became intimate again. i fell back in love with him. i’ve been really really happy. BUT two days ago my best friend admitted she had feelings for me too, but she never got the chance to tell me.
im stuck. i love my boyfriend more than anything. i’ve been with him for so long that im afraid to be without him. but she’s everything i want in a girl. he on the other hand deserves so much better. i don’t know what to do.
any advice?
if you read this far. thank you <3
TL;DR: i have feelings for two people but really confused on what the best decision would be.
1 comment
Without getting into anything else, I will just say that this:
>i’ve been with him for so long that im afraid to be without him.
Is not a good reason to stay with somebody.
My first, gut reaction, is that you’re 19. This is the time of your life to be trying new things, meeting new people. Don’t let fear hold you back.