Hey guys so my gf and I have been dating for a few months now. Everything is going great! But recently she has stopped messaging me a lot and I do not know to react to it. We went from texting every day all the the time to now her taking hours to reply. A few days ago she took around 6 hours to reply. I was freaking out and couldn’t think straight. Though when she did reply she apologized saying that she should’ve said something. She just wants to be more present at home and not be on her phone all the time. Which I understand, she has class in the mornings which is online for 5 hours and then she normally works in the afternoons. What freaks me out is that we used to message all the time and she used to ask how I was and stuff and recently she hasn’t. Though in person it’s a different situation, she still acts the same and nothing has changed. I even asked her if were okay she said yes that were fine. Though I still tend to overthink, I think due to how my last relationship ended. I really love my gf and I don’t want to lose her. Should I be worried? I’m scared that she’s getting bored of me. Through text I send her I love you but she doesn’t say it back sometimes BUT in person she does.
TDLR: My gf has stopped texting me a lot due to wanting to be more present at home. She has been busy with school and work lately, and has stopped asking how I’m doing over text. Though in person she’s still the same loving person. I tend to overthink a lot and always think worse case scenario.
3 comments
It boils down to this: can you trust her to be honest with you when you asked if things were fine? If so, then distract yourself. Live your own life, see your friends, participate in your hobbies. If no, then I think you have a bigger problem than her texting scarcity.
Before doing anything just do this, first breathe and relax. Do you trust her? If so you are probably overreacting, if not then shouldn’t be together. Then one day/night when you are together just sit down for a minute and talk. Don’t go accusatory on her like she’s wrong and everything but just say you understand she wanted to be more at home (which is normal), but at the same time you’ve been overthinking and thinking worst case (you have been). Idk you but try not to argue and just communicate and let each other know what is happening.
​
Better to both be on the same page with an in person discussion than one being oblivious and other panicking.
I think you can communicate to her if this really bothers you, it’s perfectly reasonable to have her check up on you every now and then. However the rest of your post doesn’t really ring any warning bells for me. It sounds like her schedule is very busy, and she wants to stay off of her phone. It’d be one thing if she didn’t spend time with you on a regular basis, but as you’ve said, she is engaged with you at home.