I’m a 30-something woman living alone in a first floor apartment. Since summer hit, various kids around 3 years old keep coming up onto my private patio and face planting into my sliding door. They just stand there, knocking and staring. Until I go outside and run them off. Over and over.
I’m pretty sure they want to play with my cat. He sits by the slider and I’m usually sitting 3 feet away on my couch so it’s very invasive of my privacy to have strange kids all up in my living room basically.
This has happened at least 8 times and it’s ruining my peace. Clearly I need to try a different strategy but I’m not great with kids and don’t know my neighbors so that’s where you come in.
Here’s what I’ve tried:
– Telling them to play somewhere else
– Telling them my cats don’t want to play
– Telling them this is my home and they are not allowed here
– Telling them “Ushi doesn’t live here, I do” when they say that’s who they’re here to play with
– Asking where their parents are (never in eye shot, the kids don’t answer)
– Asking where they live (they don’t answer)
– Asking if they understand they aren’t allowed on my patio (they nod)
– Reporting it to my apartment office (they’ve sent out similar notices to residents about neighborly activity warnings)
– Creating a privacy fence for my patio (just finished 2/3 of it today and they ran through the opening 🤦♀️)
I can only see three options left here:
– the next time the kids do this, follow them until they lead me to a group of adults. Then ask if they are/know these kids parents. Eventually find the parents and explain the situation. Ask for their help in stopping the kids from doing this again. Seems potentially creepy for me to follow young children? I’m also disabled so walking after them isn’t something I could do for long.
– write up some notes and leave them on all my neighbors doors. Seems obnoxious and overkill since there’s hundreds of residents. And how would that even start? “Do you have Indian children approximately 3 years old, who play behind building B? Do they love cats? Well, they’re faceplanting into my slider once a week. Please discipline them.”
– Discipline a strangers child more harshly? That seems very wrong and like I would then get yelled at by their parents.
TLDR; how can I get my 3 yo neighbors to stay off my private patio for good?
8 comments
There is no way for you to lock your patio?
So you’re saying 3 year old children are outside without an adult?
Your fence might work when completed, or they might just climb over it. If the kids come at the same time each day, maybe preemptively putting your cat in another room and sitting outside to warn them off might help, but then again the kids might just like your attention and keep coming back. Kids can be delightful, but they can also be a pain in the butt.
You will need to straight up find the parents and tell them that they have to keep their children off your patio. Get a friend to help you locate the parents if necessary. 4 year olds are super curious and don’t understand how the world works (yeah, they know you don’t want them there, but can’t comprehend why), so they aren’t going to stop, and you’re not allowed to discipline them. If the parents won’t take care of the problem, you will need to look up the number for child protective services in your area and let them know about the problem.
You could call the non-emergency police line and tell them some unattended children are on your patio and you don’t know where they live or who they belong to.
When I first read this I kinda misread it, and thought it was three older kids. Which would be disturbing. But three-year-olds? Who tumble onto your patio and want to meet your cat? This sounds like the cutest thing EVER! Why not make friends with the kids and bring your cat out to play? (I wouldn’t invite them inside unless you made friends with the parents first.)
Gosh, if you’re not getting a ton of social interaction, this sounds adorable, and like a fun opportunity.
Just my take. Life is short. Enjoy it!
1. Put a vinyl cling or chalk-marker drawing on the glass to prevent injury
2. Set a boundary, literally, by fencing the area or putting chairs or plants to obstruct the path of a toddler (they’re usually dumb, they’re not going to rearrange furniture).
you may also want to set a boundary with their caregiver by taking the child’s hand and walking them to the common area. Usually if you ask a kid “who’s watching you/where’s your mom” they should be able to lead you to them. Or, shoo them off and they will naturally go to home base. Tell the adult that the kids can’t come on your patio. Take the parent to the boundary, point, have the parent explain that to the kid. “don’t pass this doormat” or you know, whatever visually obvious point.
I recommend the Nextdoor app if you have it in your area. It’ll help you to make a post and kind of get an idea of who may know about the problem, if it’s happened before, etc.
Leave a note with the kids for The Parents to read? If they’re that little they may just take a letter home. Air horn when they come onto the property maybe?