Title.
It seems like recently (i.e. late winter/early spring) I have not been getting past a 1st or 2nd date. This has been with both girls I have met online and in person. Usually I will have a good date or two with someone (often times with some “fooling around” involved as well) and then either get ghosted or shot down (e.g., “I’m not over my ex”, “I’m not feeling a connection”, etc.).
To be honest this has started to take a big hit to my self-esteem that there is something wrong with me or I’m presenting myself in a way that is off-putting. I know I’m a decent looking guy who is in respectable shape and dresses decently well so that is not that the issue at hand (feel free to lurk my posts for my dating profiles). I disclosed my lack of success to a girl I was in a casual relationship/FWB a month back and she was generally surprised (i.e., “How are you single?”). I keep trying to keep my head up, but it is becoming more difficult.
TIA!
8 comments
You look fine to me on your pictures.
Try to keep in mind that people not being interested is not always a reflection on you. You mentioned the one girl wasn’t over her ex — there’s nothing you could’ve done there. I’ve run into this issue as well where people disappear for a variety reasons. My advice would be to keep moving and meeting people. You’re a good looking dude so you’ll be alright!
Without more details, it’s hard to say. What topics do you usually bring up? Do you tend to make friends easily otherwise? Can you easily converse with girls outside of the dating scene? Do you have any viewpoints that may be deemed controversial in your area? Do you come across as reliable and trustworthy, or are there things you’ve divulged that might contradict that? You’re getting dates, so your looks/profile aren’t the problem. And I’m not saying any of the above specifically ARE the problem, but the Devil’s in the details somewhere. We’re all learning and growing as people as we go. Don’t get discouraged.
Let have fun with math.
How many times have you gone out to meet girls in this time period?
How many do you make eye contact with?
How many do you approach if you made eye contact?
How many do you swipe per week?
How many dates?
You seems cute, keep your chin up and good luck
It might just be compatibility issue, just because what they’re looking for is different than what you’re offering doesn’t mean that what you’re offering is bad. Don’t feel like you have to do something you’re not into just to be more attractive because then what happens if you date and you feel like you have to keep up this pretence? That sound mentally taxing
Even if you can charm anyone you meet you can only date one anyway, might as well take your time and find someone who’s genuinely a good fit. Remember that it’s fine to take a break midway if it gets overwhelming as it is hard not to internalize those rejections
Do you feel you are escalating fast enough?
I’m a girl who hasn’t been on more than one date with even with the most gorgeous, smart, impressive, nice guys, and it’s because dating apps are dumb. You create an idea of someone via stats and just a paper profile and realize that person is not who you think they were, or realize the text chemistry is different from personality chemistry, etc. I think dating apps are a set up for failure. I would blame it on the mechanism and coldness of the app, not on you. I am aware of my bias and thus deleted it for courtesy so as to create more natural, organic meets
do you have good time on your dates? can you make the other person feel good or make her have good time? like make her laugh or smile… those kind of things are important. Learn about that