Guys, from your personal experience what changed that caused girls to be sexually attracted to you, not just wanting a friendship?

27 comments

  1. I think being able to show your independence and passions, together with you being emotionally stable it’s a mix of a lot of things

  2. For me, personally, it was a change in my fashion. My wardrobe used to be 90% black t-shirts and blue jeans.

    Once I started wearing more form-fitting, diverse, and mature clothing, it felt like I got more of the right kind of attention. Worked wonders for my self-confidence as well.

  3. Being well-groomed, nice-smelling, assertive, confident and flirty.

  4. When I quit worrying about if they were sexually attracted to me and focused on just being myself.

  5. Well I went from being fat, insecure, not confident in myself, and generally unhealthy to fit and muscular, confident and secure in myself, and healthy.

    I learned to cook my own meals, I started hitting the gym every other day, and really took the time to figure out who I was well enough that I knew what I wanted, needed, and how to take care of myself and be at peace with who I am.

    Sure having a nice body helps with people being attracted to you but the confidence is the biggest thing here. Confidence is hot, it’s sexy, it’s attractive on anyone. The gym, eating healthy, and getting to know and accept myself helped with my confidence so so much and I think that’s the biggest thing that affected peoples attraction towards me.

  7. …getting over my ex gf. Suddenly the same weekend I had 3 different women give me their phone numbers out of the blue and my now wife (who I hadn’t seen in years at the time… we used to be HS friends) decided to take a road trip to visit me.

  9. I watched a guy go from “nice guy at the office that you politely discuss the weather with but you would never fuck” to “random women at restaurants checking him out” in a couple of years by working on his posture, eye contact, and speech — he used to mumble with his eyes down, shoulders slumped. Saw him a few years later and I guess cycling had given him some confidence because instead of mumbling hello to me with his head down, he walked up to me with his shoulders straight, made eye contact, said Hello and called me by my name and actually smiled instead of the usual stoic expressionless face he used to have all the time. He greeted everyone else this way too, including men, so it wasn’t some act to try to hit on me or anything.

    Doesn’t hurt that he toned up a bit. Nothing drastic, just toning from the cycling. But the change in demeanor was most refreshing. . .he was still himself, but version 2.0. When people say “just be yourself” this is what they mean. Version 2.0 of yourself is still yourself!

  10. It came down to physical appearance for me.

    I’m not a ladies man by any means but I did notice a significant change from how I was treated in high school/college to post-grad when I shed a lot of weight and took my styling and fashion more seriously.

    I was a bit of an “ugly duckling” without being ugly. Just a horrible haircut, bad fitting clothes, ugly glasses, acne, and overweight. Once I cleaned up big post-grad and slimmed down, I got a lot more attention. Even ran into a girl from my old high school who once ignored me that all of a sudden gave me a lot of attention.

    I even started dating really late. First GF was around 24 and she was smart and pretty, at the time my type. She said “yes” to me in a heartbeat which was surprising.

    Can’t really think of anything other than my presentation. Losing weight and looking good will do wonders for a man

  11. The #1 thing that worked was confidence.

    There are also the external factors too. Don’t expect to attract chicks if you dress and look like a slob. Seriously, get your shit together and get cleaned up.

  12. I stopped caring, not about my appearance or who I was, but about them. As cliche as it sounds, pretty girls aren’t used to a guy who couldn’t care less about them which intrigues them

  13. Started putting on muscle. Started getting better hair cuts and grooming. Better dressed.

    And most importantly, learned how to hold a conversation. Learned how to listen and respond when she spoke. A good sense of humor helps as well.

  15. It was a process in my 20th year where I realized I felt physically good and strong, I Felt like I was pretty good at the things I enjoyed doing, and there really wasn’t any pressure about finding a single woman to date.

    Literally within weeks to a couple of months one found me and we’ve been together for almost 41 years.

    I realized several years later that women had all long been attracted to me. Not necessarily all women, but some pretty attractive ones. I actually had a small group of women I ran into at a high school Reunion they were talking amongst them selves and mentioned how one of them had a crush on me in high school and all of them chimed in that they did too. I turned them and said, “why didn’t anybody say something?”

  16. I put on 30 pounds of muscle, dropped down below 15% body fat, redid my entire wardrove, changed my hairstyle, grew out my beard and learned to take proper pictures.

    Then all of a sudden my exact same personality, tastes and everything was seen in a different light.

    I went from “ew what a nerd” to “omg i’m so into nerdy guys” and “You’re so boring” became “I love that you have your life together”.

    Make of that what you will.

  17. Appearing more “manly” vs “boyish”. Becoming more independent brought a lot of confidence as well, and that plays a huge part.

  19. Had my teeth whitened, it changed my confidence, that must have been visible, got married soon after!

  20. The clothing and fitness came after one girl showed interest in me. Now when we’re out together I can see other women looking me up and down whereas before I was invisible, no subtlety at all. It’s very weird.

  21. Demonstrating some skill you’re good at or saying something funny or whatever. There’s a switch that flips with women where they move you out of the friend box and into the “I would fuck this guy box” and what does it varies from woman to woman. I got a different haircut once and that did it for a lady friend of mine.

  22. Stopped being so damn nice all the time. Not saying I’m a jerk or bully now. But I was a yes man as a kid and it did me zero favors. Have confidence, have principles, have some pride.

  23. I’m convinced having a girlfriend emits some kind of aura that makes me suddenly 200% more fuckable. I typically have incredibly long stretches of being single between girlfriends, but it feels WAY more women hit on me when I’m in a committed relationship.

  26. Dress nice
    Smell nice
    Be fit. Not ripped just not fat
    Personal grooming
    Funny/attitude.

    If your in the friend zone. Find a dif girl and stop making yourself available.

  27. I’d say for me the #1 thing was a change in my mindset and attitude.

    Before, I had a “take whatever you can get” attitude because I struggled with women. I’d always bide my time to make my move, get into quasi-friendships with women in hopes that they’d be potential dates someday or they’d be able to introduce me to friends who I could be romantically/sexually involved with.

    I’d also waste my time with women who I wasn’t really interested in (but who were interested in me), mainly for validation purposes.

    After a few years or so doing this and realizing that it wasn’t working for me, I decided to change up my overall approach.

    * Stop biding my time and make a move sooner rather than later.
    * Not accept friendships from women, unless I was truly interested in being her friend without expecting anything further
    * Stop wasting time with women I’m not interested in
    * Stop giving a fuck about rejection (this was really the root of my problems)

    Here’s what I noticed and learned after this:

    * The sooner you get rejected, the sooner you can move on
    * Spending time in the friendzone, or other unsatisfactory situations with women, actually wastes a ton of time, effort, and energy you could spend towards finding someone actually interested in you
    * You’d be surprised how many women out there are really just waiting for you to make a move. The vast majority of women aren’t socially conditioned to make moves on guys.

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