Story is much longer, but will post short version here.
So basically last year in October I found out my bf was flirting with random women on IG.
We have been dating since September 2019.
There was lots of drama going on since October but we managed to stabilise ourselves.
Recently, I asked him to remove a woman who he flirted with behind my back from following since he finally added me back to his IG (he removed me during one drama episode since I contacted women in his IG to tell them he has a gf, and then he had his IG deactivated for significant time until he activated it back a month ago to watch some youtuber). He didn’t want to do it.
Today, I asked him why does he want to keep that woman. His replies:
“I havent backstabbed you with her, if I did, we’ll be together by now”
(Eh definitely did, sending kissing emojis, baby names, flirting basically, 1-2 video calls middle of night claims is nothing sexual took place but intentions were clear, was absolutely not an innocent one.., she even asked him what does he think of marriage in their religion; he didn’t tell her he has a gf, she found out from me and she herself confirmed how disrespectful his actions were)
“So stop this”
“Also by principles I dont like to be told what to especially I know not needed”
“Also I dont know many <people from his nationality>, she might be a good contact in the future, as she never harmed me, there is no point in creating enemies”
I am baffled. Like I can sort of understand, she seems cool, I can be her friend…but this is so wrong and I am not sure how does he expect me to be cool with this. It does not seem he understands how much he hurt me… And he talks about him and his needs, absolutely disregarding mine.
The thing is I have become kind of indifferent now. I am not really mad or jealous, but I feel like this is just wrong on so many levels.
I feel like this is worth breaking up cause a useful contact cannot be more important than respect towards me and the relationship.
This sounds very disrespectful.
I asked him how would he feel if roles were switched. I am still waiting for a reply.
tl;dr: not sure if my bf is naive or just plain stupid
8 comments
>should I[27f] Break up with him[28m]?
Yup
What a shitshow. Whatever you do, grow up.
He does sound awful, though.
He seems like he’s investing emotional energy in other women… energy that should be invested in you. To many, that’s emotional cheating and is unacceptable in a relationship.
At a minimum, you’ve expressed your feelings and he has refused to change his behavior accordingly. To me, that’s very disrespectful of both you and your relationship. I feel you would be absolutely justified in ending the relationship over this.
He’s not naive and he’s not stupid.
He’s a cheater. Goodbye.
Why are you policing this guy’s behavior? If he can’t stay right with you by himself, he’s not worth your trouble.
Disrespect is just the beginning here. You wanted to know if u should break up with him or not, right.
Yes.
Run…
Your BF is not naive or stupid, but I have a feeling he thinks you are. He’s gaslighting you so hard and you’re still giving him the benefit of the doubt instead of leaving.
So he’s okay with removing you after a fight but can’t remove a random girl upon your well justified request?
Honestly I would recommend dumping him at this point. He is a cheater and doesn’t seem to respect you. I wonder how he’d like it if the roles were reversed and you were texting some guys on social media.
I’m so sorry and you have a complete right to not feel okay about this. You don’t have to accept these trashy behaviours.