Women who are (were) in a bicultural relationship – how often do (did) you have to deal with cultural conflicts & how do (did) you feel about it?

8 comments

1. All the time. I date in China, as a Brit… So food becomes an issue, understanding why people do the bizarre things they do here (Even though for them it’s normal and what I do is strange to them), a bunch of stuff. But… Nothing relationship breaking.

2. I (European) dated a guy from Africa and we had some differences in our opinions on gender roles, but we talked about it and made our needs and feelings clear, so it was all good. Differences aren’t a problem as long as communication is good.

3. i can talk about this a lot!

   i’m ethnic and have a different cultural background.
   however i was born and grew up in the same place as my ex partner. however he was white.

   so i could understand his culture because it was mine too to an extent.

   however he couldn’t understand mine or the racial issues i went through too.

   cultural issues conflicted because we naturally had different upbringings and expectations from us. it also impacted on anxiousness and fear of our relationship being broken apart suddenly because of my side (culture is toxic and controlling and isn’t accepting of relationships)

   however when it came to the hood part of the culture such as foods arts etc we bonded sooooo much it outweighed them bad tbf.

4. We have a lot of differences (I wouldn’t say conflicts) but we talk A LOT. Sometimes, they are funny, sometimes, they are annoying for me.

   “I need to wear a bra so no one can see my nipples? Why don’t you cover yours with duck tape, you have nipples too!” “What do you mean it is inappropriate with being topless on the beach? You are topless!”

   Some example of funny and annoying differences 🙂

5. I’m black and my gf is Korean/Puerto Rican. We haven’t had any major cultural conflicts. I do have to explain AAVE to her sometimes. We did have to understand that the other came from a different background with a different set of rules but that wasn’t a big deal.

6. Trying to explain to my Caucasian ex why my retirement plan had to include accommodating my parents. It seems like his parents celebrated when he left for university and they can self sustain themselves for retirement.

   My parents and a lot of Chinese/Asian parents expect us to BE their retirement plan as they don’t have enough saved up for after they stop working.

7. We deal with them very often. Do they turn into conflicts? No because we’re grown and use our words. How do I feel about it, it’s annoying because if I don’t explain it well enough I feel like I get judged.

8. I am from the US but was once in a 5 year relationship with a Brazilian many years ago. We lived in Brazil for the first couple of years but moved to the states in year 3. When we met I’d been living in another South American country for almost 4 years but had traveled to different arts pf Brazil a few times and absolutely loved the culture and the language (oml, Brazil and Brazilian Portuguese are so beautiful) which made things easier.

   Unfortunately we were not long-term compatible for reasons that may or may not be related to culture (differences of opinion surrounding fidelity), so, sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. But, again, we both loved each other’s cultures, languages, friends and families, otherwise. What’s your take, OP?