My wife just turned me down and said “we had sex yesterday, I don’t want you to get greedy”

We’ve been married for 12 years and happily I might add! WTF?

Does she not enjoy it, is she cheating

I’m at a complete loss!

49 comments

  1. She doesn’t owe her body to you. If she doesn’t it want it then she just doesn’t want it. People don’t always want sex.

  2. “I dont want you to get greedy”

    Thats emotional manipulation, relationship therapist territory.

  3. Was this a one time thing? Was she saying it in a playful tone of voice or a serious voice? Did she tell you she no longer wants to have sex two days in a row or did you infer that from this conversation?

    I totally understand why this wording rubbed you the wrong way, but if you have an otherwise happy relationship and sex life, it’s quite likely this was just teasing line from her that landed poorly, nothing more.

  4. It was just a lighthearted, joking way to say she wasn’t in the mood. You’re reading way too much into it. And to jump to the conclusion that she might be cheating? That’s another issue all in its own!

  5. 2 days and your freaking out and jumping to conclusions?? Dude, calm the hell down. Your married 12 years. It’s normal for sex to not be every day.

  6. Yeah , so I spoke with your wife and she said to ask her directly because she is your wife…

  7. Is it a rule or was it a joke?

    Sounds a lot like a joke to me but maybe only when your wife says it to me …. /j

  9. Jerk off and get over it Jesus, she is either not in the mood or joking either way leave it alone.

  10. This post is eye opening. Literally just seen a post of a woman that has stopped having sex with her boyfriend and it’s ‘his fault’ because he doesn’t try hard enough for her ( although it has been deleted) and all the replies were tell her to DUMP HIM.
    Now we have this with a man and everyone is like ‘it’s her body’ or ‘she doesn’t have to bow to you’ ‘ get over it’ 🤣
    Men are well and truly fucked from this point on the double standards are unreal.

    My advice to this guy is go and enjoy yourself with a woman that wants your company and enjoys pleasing you just as much as you please her. Come home and tell your wife about the experience before packing and leaving for a better, happier life!
    Life is too short to live unhappy

    “Get greedy” 🤣 she’s definitely full of herself

  11. She could be tired, or maybe her vagina is sore. Certain positions can hurt and we need to heal before we’re ready again. I haven’t had sex in a week because we tried something new and it physically hurt

  13. Am I the only one pretty impressed that in 12 years you guys still have sex everyday? I mean, congrats!

    But also, she was just not in the mood and cracking a joke, I would be more worried about you, why is your mind instantly jumping to such a far and intense possibility that she is cheating? Something worth communicating about.

  14. Yes she is cheating. She also used to be a man and works for the CIA. Sorry I have to be the one to tell you.

  16. my ex gf of 4 years started doing that.. then she said no anal… then she said no birth control and i needed to wear condoms. she was fucking a white-haired man with herpes who promised her a writing job after grad school… guess how that turned out

  17. Divorce. And do NOT talk to her under any circumstances. You don’t want answers from the likes of her. We are your new wife. You can talk to us about it.

  19. That’s messed up. She is definitely not enjoying the sex if she consider it a one-way directional act.

  20. a real difficult thing for us guys seems to be communicating our sexual needs/desires….so, having said that….talk to her…if you try and read non-verbal “signs” you’ll be wrong every time..tell her how much you love her and show her every day….when it comes to sex…ask her what gives her the most pleasure….and then spend the rest of your life attending to her sexual needs/desires..make sex about her…her wants/likes/desires…and when she says “not now” don’t spiral out of control…don’t read into it….ask her if she is ok, if there is something on her mind that she needs to talk about or ,,just give her a back rub and be grateful you have someone special in your life i’m 68 and been married twice..this time 18yrs and we have sex every day…..

  23. Just ask her if that’s a new rule. Why ask? Because you don’t like being turned down so it helps if you know what the rules are. That way you won’t initiate intimacy a day after you had sex and get rejected. She’ll probably let you know it was a joke.

  24. Pretty sure you are just overthinking it OP. Her libido might be going down a bit. Nbd.

  26. i forgot to add…..go to “sex with emily” she has a great site with lots of topics about relationships and sex…also podcasts that you both might find interesting..and download her “yes/no/maybe” sex list…both of you answer the questions and then read each others list …interesting reading….

  28. Stfu not having sex two days in a row simply because she doesn’t want to is ok normal and doesn’t even mean anything

  30. Did she sound like she was joking? I’m sure if she was joking you’d be able to tell though

  31. How the hell does anybody on here know if she enjoys sex!!! Cheating , seriously dude ,just because she turned u down the second day, be thankful for what u have and stop whining

  33. If my bf said that to me I would assume it was a joke. I would just think he wasn’t in the mood and was just trying to make light of the situation. If it persisted, then would be concerned and dig a little deeper, but if it was a one-off, I’d just let it go.

    It’s a little troubling that you immediately jump to “is she cheating” because that’s a big leap.

  34. maybe she’s playing a game of tease and denial. But she has to be more blatant with it so you could get in on the fun.

  35. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your wife, but if it was anything like the light hearted and open one I have with my husband, and I said something like that to him, he’d pick me up over his shoulders and carry me to the bedroom in spite of my giggling protests and tell me “oh yeah, you don’t want to get me greedy? I need to have another taste to see if I can get addicted…let’s see” and then after the amazing sex he’d tell me that yeah, he can definitely get greedy 😏😏

  36. I would ask her directly. My partner sometimes wants to wait a bit too, & I dont see that bad at all is like recharging batteries, somehow when u wait a few days (not many) it feels different. The build up is good sometimes, others I just can’t hold it & neither can he. Perhaps she has her own reasons. I mean everything can’t be just cheating 🙄

  37. I often have an issue where I read too much into what my wife or others say. This is a case of that it seems. Reading your other comments you realize you did this. I have had to start slowing down my thought process and realize when this is happening so I don’t act out on these emotions. It creates issues where there weren’t any.

  38. I’m sorry to inform you, but if your wife rejects you for sex because you had sex the day before and you have ONLY been married 12 years, your wife is batman. You will have a lot less sex while she rids your city of crime.

    ​

    But seriously, your post is exhausting. Your wife is probably exhausted. I filed divorce papers on your post as I can’t handle seeing it anymore. Stop being this high maintenance.

  41. Sounds like sex with you is a another chore for your wife …,perhaps making it less of an obligation for her or helping her with some other chores might make her more amicable

  42. Apply the same rule to something she likes. Like, you cleaning up after yourself.
    Her: asks why you didn’t do the dishes or take trash out.
    You: Oh, I did that yesterday. Don’t want you to get too used to me doing shit.

  43. I’d just ask! Like “babe… what was that about last night?”

    And then for you were you upset about her saying it, the way she said it out both?

  44. She’s probably just tired. It’s like working out. Sometimes our parts get sore too.

  45. Wait, your wife turned you down one time in a cheeky way (as I would read it) and here you are, asking yourself and us, if she is cheating? After 12 years???? R u serious, buddy? You cannot possibly think of any other reason? Wild guess on my part: she was not in the mood… this one time. How insecure can a person be after so many years and such a small thing to jump to cheating? Unless there is more to your story that you didn’t tell, this is a bit ridiculous

  46. Holy shit, how insecure can you be: “My wife had a headache one time, is she cheating”?

    If I came home and found my wife in bed having sex with another person, I would assume there is a reasonable explanation, because I trust her. Well, maybe not quite that far, but pretty close to that. I cannot imagine not trusting a long term partner of mine to that degree: that’s what marriage is.

    You’ve been married for 12 years and the first sign of something new makes you leap to cheating? Something is deeply wrong with your ability to trust. I strongly recommend therapy to explore why you feel like you can’t trust your wife of 12 years when there is no evidence of anything suspicious in the slightest.

  47. So this might not be her reasoning, but after particularly vigorous sessions, I get quite sore and need a couple of days to heal. Idk if that’s why and for some reason she’s too embarrassed to tell you. Either that or her libido is just lower than yours.

  48. I’m a woman, also married. Sex every day can be a bit much sometimes, especially if she works full time and/or if you have children. She isn’t cheating. I took it as a joke, it’s not a “rule.” Maybe take some time to focus on her emotional needs and determine whether you’re allowing her to take on too much: emotional labor, housework, whatever it is. The less crap we have to deal with day to day, the more mental capacity we have for sex. And for most women, sex indeed is very mental.

  49. My husband will sometimes joke that he needs to leave me something to desire when I’m like let’s go again. So I’m thinking it was a cute way to turn you down without it being harsh. Maybe talk to her about how she can say no in a way that won’t make you feel confused

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