I have learned the hard way it’s not very wise to overshare personal vulnerabilities like social anxiety in my case with developing friends and acquaintances so I do my best to avoid discussing it or acknowledging it and just toughing it out when it appears.

I was photographing an outdoor dancing event (not hired, though I have done professional work in the past) and a friend of mine happened to be one of the performers and i took a picture of her. I wasn’t expecting to see someone I knew, so the anxiety kicked in and it affected the picture (I was shooting at 1/8 shutter speed to capture SOME movement). Most of the of other dancers came out fine, but for my friend … it looked like she was melting due to my shaky hands. She saw the picture on the back of the camera and because the image was so small you couldn’t tell the defects that would be obvious on even a cell phone screen, she said she loved it and wanted a copy.

I ended up sending her the pic and made something up about how I was intentionally shooting on a different setting for something else that was happening on stage and just forgot to adjust to take a picture of her pose because “I’m rusty”. I even went as far as not uploading the better pics of dancers I didn’t know so she wouldn’t think it was just about her.

She looked at the message and photo, but didn’t reply. I feel like I fucked up, and I really wish I didn’t have to choose between lying and telling her that I was just surprised to see her and caught unaware.

Any suggestions on how I could have handled this better?

2 comments
  1. I don’t see anything wrong with what you said. I wouldn’t over explain. She asked for picture, she got picture.

  2. You should have just sent the pictures and leave it at that the pictures came out bad who cares

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